We all know that it sucks to feel like you’re being judged for stupid things – so why does it feel so right to be judgmental sometimes? In a moment of vicious cattiness, it’s easy to forget that being judgmental can seriously mess up your life. You can be the nicest person in the whole entire world on the outside, you could rescue kittens from trees,and volunteer at a homeless shelter, but none of that matters if you’re too judgmental. Everyone around you feels your side-eye and it turns people off.
A lot of people become judgmental because they’re trying to be snarky, funny, and “cool.” I’ll admit that I used to be one of those people! It’s okay to want to be well-liked and “cool,” but it’s not okay to make fun of other people to get there. It’s natural to assume things about people based on what you see on the outside, but you have to teach yourself to look beyond that and really get to know someone. When you can’t do that, you can easily come off as mean and snobby, and I think that’s the last way you want to come off. Here are eight bad things that can happen to you when you’re too judgmental to inspire you to stop once and for all:
Your Friends Don't Always Tell You Everything About ThemselvesOnce your friends catch on to how judgmental you are, they will slowly but surely stop telling you everything about their life. No one wants to be judged, and if they know you're going to judge them for something, they don't want to hear it! If your friends feel like they can't confide in you because they think you're going to flip this on them and make a joke at their expense, that's a problem. No one would want their friends to react this way towards them in a time of crisis, and it feels awful when you're excluded and you're pretty sure you know why. Source: iStock
People Tend To Get Annoyed At YouWhen the people in your life know you're judgmental, any attempt at sincerity comes across as a sarcastic comment. People are ready to jump down your throat for making a judgement... that you didn't even make. Everyone's default assumption around you is that you're always giving everyone and everything a once-over before making a negative comment. People are more likely to get annoyed at you, and that's never a good feeling. Source: iStock
You Begin To Prevent Yourself From Having Real ConnectionsThis works in two ways. One, your friends get fed up with your judgmental ways, and they slowly start to push you away... or, like I said, they don't really open up to you. Both of these can prevent real connections in your friends. Two, you keep yourself from getting close to potential good friends because you're so busy judging everyone before you get to know them. If you can't allow yourself to get to know people, you're going to miss out on a lot of great connections in your life. Source: iStock
You Have Serious Forgiveness IssuesWhen you're really judgmental, it can turn into you being constantly on the lookout for someone close to you to mess up so you can hold it over their heads forever. Judging someone for a mistake they apologized for doesn't help you forgive them - and forgiveness is often necessary. The judgment in your mind clouds any rational thought, and can lead to unnecessarily long grudges. Source: iStock
You Become That Person Who Only Talks About OthersIf all of your conversations revolve around talking about other people or making fun of your friends who aren't around, that's a problem. We all gossip once in a while, but if it's all you do, you're doing it wrong. There are other, more important things to talk about than what your old friend did in class the other day. People love to listen to a gossip... until they realize that person is probably gossiping about them too. Source: iStock
You Become Way Too Stubborn and Small-MindedBeing too judgmental often means closing yourself off to any other opinion. The thing is, people are allowed to have different opinions than you, even if you don't agree with them. And sometimes, if you're willing to listen to their side of the story, you might change the way you feel too. You're missing out on a whole slew of different perspectives because you're too invested in clinging on to your one point of view because you care about being right more than being open. Source: iStock
You Become Paranoid That You're Being Judged TooYou can't relax! Letting your guard down? No chance. You know, for a fact, without any real evidence or reason, that everyone around you is judging you, so you have to be one step ahead of the game and judge them first for... probably something petty. It's awful. No one wants to be constantly on guard - that's no way to live. In fact, no one is judging you as much as you're judging you, so try to breathe through any discomfort that may make you reflexively go into defense-mode. Source: iStock
You Always Assume The Worst"They're lying." "They're only saying that because [lame excuse]." Um, no. Judging too much quickly makes you into a negative person because you start only assuming the worst in people. When this happens, you make the wrong decisions or you hold yourself back from friendships, relationships, or situations that could potentially be fun. Source: iStock
Are you too judgmental? Do you disagree with any of these? Let us know in the comments.
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.