14 Painfully True Tweets That Explain Your Secret Addiction To Internet Lurking

The other day, I did something bad. I went down one of those infamous Internet black holes–you know, the kind that starts with the Instagram “following activity” feature and ends with resurfacing on some site that sells human organs illegally on the deep web–and lurked for a good while on a person that I used to hook up with but don’t really talk to anymore’s Instagram page. This, eventually, turned into the rest of their social media presence, and, obviously, turned into the rest of the Internet. Here’s what happened (and I know that this might shock some of you): it did not actually make me feel very good!

Welcome to the perils of lurking. Lurking, if you aren’t familiar, is something that Urban Dictionary defines as “spying on people online, while you remain invisible.” So, of course, you know what this is, even if you don’t exactly call it lurking (or openly admit to doing it). You open a private browser, type in that person’s name into the decoy social media search bar of your choice, and just go absolutely ham on their presence there, despite knowing that it feels good now–like downing a sleeve of Thin Mints in one go–but will almost certainly make you feel sick later on.

You know what might make you feel sort of okay about lurking, though? Resting secure in the knowledge that everyone else is doing it, too–it’s just that no one ever talks about it. Well, no one ever talks about it, except on Twitter. There, people are pretty open about the self-flagellating addiction to Internet stalking that we, as fallible, error-prone humans, all share. Come and plumb the depths of the human condition–or, at the very least, look at some memes featuring Kris Jenner–and check out the best tweets about Internet lurking:

1. We all know how it starts:


2. Sometimes, you accidentally “like” other people’s business. That’s fine:


3. Or you find that they are on private, which is actually a blessing in disguise:


4. Because, otherwise, you’re bound to find something you’re not super into:


5. Like, something that makes you feel very bad:


6. There are many ways to express how much your feelings are hurt. Take, for example, this Kris Jenner meme:


7. Maybe Selena Gomez feels more “you” when you are deeply wounded from what you’ve seen:


8. Or Lady Gaga:


9. Or Kendall Jenner:


10. Whatever variation you use to express your bruised ego, you have to admit that it just doesn’t…feel very good:


11. Even if you started with hopeful intentions:


12. So, when you finish, you’re just like:


13. Because you’re a big girl. You can handle it. Right?


14. Even if not, here’s the thing–other people are lurking you, too. So just leave them this little gift, so they know that you know:

Have you ever done some hard-core lurking? Which of these tweets was your favorite? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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