At this point, you all know that there is nothing that I love and cherish more than that Tumblr “signs as” horoscope meme–you know, the one that lists all of the different zodiac signs and decides what they are, definitely, based on their own biased opinions and anecdotal experiences with said signs. Through my many hours of exhaustive research with these posts, I have determined what your true song is. What it’s really like to date you. How you feel–just, like, in general–about nothing in particular.
It is no easy task, but, then again, no one ever said that my dream job as a young, glamorous amateur soothsayer would be anything but a draining–though ultimately rewarding, of course–endeavor. And now, the time has come to delve into the more serious Tumblr subject–what everyone secretly hates about you. Of course, in this case, I mean “serious” like the spoken interlude in a Carly Rae Jepsen song, which is to say that it is very serious indeed, but only if you are a true believer in the subject of arbitrary, untrained Tumblr horoscope predictions. Which I am. If you are too, check out these Tumblr “signs as” posts about what people secretly hate about you:
1. Here are some annoying things about you:
2. And the random annoying things that you are:
3. Some more annoying things:
4. Annoying things that you actually do:
5. Your annoying person “type” (as a virgo, I feel I must say–#NOTALLVIRGOS, FAM):
6. Annoying things you do, (based off of this one person’s individual experience, so it can’t be wrong):
7. Which pet peeve are you?
8. Here are the things that people think about you, that might not be true, but also might be very true indeed:
9. You are pretty scary, apparently:
10. Especially when you are annoyed:
11. In any case, the people (I guess you are a leader of a small country, or something? Congrats!) have spoken on what they don’t like about you. (They’re all “no offense,” though):
12. In any case, no matter what people think about you, you should probably know how to respond:
Did this feel accurate to you? Which post was your favorite? Let us know in the comments!