As a girl who has almost reached an appropriate age of target-market eligibility, I find that I get pandered to quite a bit. This isn’t necessarily bad–most of you are also of some sort of age that suits on Madison Avenue would love to mine in order to attain profit and, by simply being this age, things are targeted to you. TV shows are geared towards you. Breakfast cereals are marketed in a way that you hopefully find “cool.” Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush basically modeled their entire campaign on Gen Z’s penchant for memes. So, being pandered to isn’t necessarily bad–I expect it and, to a certain degree, I enjoy it too (though my friends might not quite as much–the other day I said “pander to me daddy” in a group text and everyone there got kind of upset with me, for some reason.) But, there is a certain point in which the pandering buck must stop, and, for me, that point is ridiculously gendered, female-only products.
Obviously, I don’t really take issue with anything that’s specifically geared towards women if it’s something that women especially benefit from (makeup, certain types of shampoo) or that only women need (tampons, pads, etc.) It just becomes problematic when there are things that should be for everyone, but get slapped with some pink paint a “for her” label, and at least a ten percent price increase. Like, you know, ear plugs. Or pens. Or food. Check out these insane female-only products that will high-key make you want to tear out your hair, decry the color pink, and take it upon yourself to squash the patriarchy–or, at the very least, start shopping in the men’s section.
1. Bic pen with a thin barrel to “fit a woman’s hand:”
If you haven’t already, PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEE read the reviews of this product on Amazon.
2. Special unscented deodorant for women’s “sensitive skin:”
Women’s deodorant vs…regular deodorant? K.
3. “Flirt” energy drink:
What Women Want™
4. “Cowgirl” vs. “Cowboy” energy drink:
“Ruggedly Adventursome” as opposed to…nothing notable, I guess.
5. Boy and girl chocolate eggs:
Et tu, Kinder Egg?
6. Princess Goldfish:
Give that elegant lady Goldfish a CROWN and some ROSY BLUSH!
7. Lady hammer:
You get that “accurate striking” done…like a lady.
8. “Sleep pretty” ear buds:
NOT TO BE CRUDE but I feel like this is something that Ted Cruz says to every woman in his life.
9. “Rebelle” Nerf gun:
“Just put an ‘l’ and ‘e’ at the end of the word ‘rebel,'” the male Hasbro exec salivated. “Ladies’ll love it.”
10. Lady Burger:
11. “Pretty pink” lady sprinkles:
The might taste exactly the same, but there’s no way to tell for sure. Guess you’ll have to live out your life wondering.
What do you think of these products? Did I forget any weird girl-only things? Let us know in the comments!