15 Things That Happen When You Have A Crush Who Actually Doesn’t Know You Exist

Ever had a crush on someone who doesn’t know you exist? Same. Here are some things that, in my twenty-two years of life, I have done as an attempt to get a crush to notice me:

  • Learned where their locker was.
  • Walked past their locker in the hall with a friend, laughing loudly in a way that I thought might be endearing, but prompted my friend to ask if I was “choking.”
  • Pulled them out of class to get their opinion of grinding, and why people do it, for an investigative report I was doing in my school newspaper on the “sweating problem” (why there was so much of it and why it all ended up on the walls! I got in trouble with the administration for that piece, but that is a story for another day) at our annual Homecoming dance.

Did my crush notice me? Yes. Did I “score,” so to speak? Obviously not, but that’s not the point. If you’ve ever consumed YA fiction in any form–whether it’s books, movies, or TV shows–you’ll know that one of the most common tropes within the genre is that of having a crush who doesn’t know you exist (think Samantha in Sixteen Candles or Cassie in The Fifth Wave), and engaging in increasingly bizarre actions to get them to notice you eventually. Perhaps you have experienced something similar? If so, you will relate–on a level that is both discomforting and deeply spiritual–to things that happen when you have a crush on someone who doesn’t actually know you’re alive:


1. You infiltrate the ladies in the attendance office so you can “accidentally” learn their schedule.



2. And their locker location.



3. And GPA (gotta stay informed).


4. And plot your “walking to bio” course in perfect alignment with their “leaving bio” one.



5. You think about ways to get their attention in this five-second moment in which your paths cross.



6. Such as screaming a witty remark to your friend down the hall (and laughing loudly as you do so, to communicate that you are “fun.”)



7. And accidentally dropping an assignment with your name on it so they *have* to find you and give it back.



8. Or gracefully fainting at their feet, so they know you are a tender, damaged soul who may not be very long for this world.


9. If your eyes meet for but a second, you can’t help but assume it means they love you, too.



10.  In fact, you find yourself humming “I Can Hear The Bells, ” the anthem of unrealized, though not quite unrequited love from Hairspray, whenever you’re in their presence.



 11. Whenever you tell your friends who you’ve got a crush on, they’re like “who?” and you’re like “NEVER MIND.” 



12. You lurk on every form of their social media (obviously) to scour for any potential shared interests you have and can talk about on your first date.



13. Which usually ends up in you finding out some things you’d prefer not to know about them–such as the fact that they went to the Winter Formal freshman year with your NEMESIS, Lauren–but you weather on, because you are nothing if not a dedicated lurker.



14. If anyone else expresses interest in you, you have no choice but to say, “Sorry, but I’m taken–I’m very invested in someone who doesn’t happen to that know I am alive. But thank you for the incredible opportunity.”



15. At a certain point, you realize you’re being unreasonable. You’ll get over it, eventually–but, for now? You’re all in, baby. If only they would get the meme.


Have you ever had a crush on someone who wasn’t aware of your existence? What did you do? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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  • Kirsty Lee Sawitto

    I am crushing on a guy who’s three grades older than me and he doesn’t know I exist but I see him around school everyday… I know his name and grade but other than that, nothing. He’s friends with one of my best friends’ brother and I have told all my bffs except for her cuz I’m afraid that she might tell her brother!!! What should I do with my best friend and how do I get my crush to notice me?????

  • Sarah Chaudhry

    I crushed on a guy who was a senior at my cousin’s high school and I saw him perform on a concert and I started poking around his Facebook, profiling his behavior, and listened to the speech his best friend wanted to say to him on stage. I’m leaving the country the day he leaves high school forever.