As an introvert who usually prefers not to initiate conversations with my crushes in person, I consider texting to be a life-saver. It’s such an easy way to communicate, and the guys that I text don’t have to see me get all shy and awkward around them. Whenever I text a crush, I feel like I can just be myself without the added pressure of thinking about whether or not I look like a total weirdo.
But here’s the interesting thing: I feel like texting can be both a blessing and curse, because even though it’s safer and it’s fun, it can still get incredibly awkward and embarrassing. I mean, it’s a little scary to think about, because some of the simplest things, like adding inappropriate emojis or giving super short answers, can make a really good conversation turn into a total disaster. Unfortunately, texting won’t always solve your problems if you struggle with talking to your crush. But thankfully, we’ve got a few helpful tips that will make you better at flirting by text.
Here are 15 unwritten rules that you need to follow when you’re texting your crush.
1. Don’t be afraid to include some humor.
Being funny is actually really attractive, so if you get them to laugh it will earn you some major bonus points. But don’t overthink it or spend hours trying to come up with the perfect joke. Just let your personality show and be yourself!
2. Don’t wait too long to reply.
You might be tempted to keep the upper hand by making your crush wait for hours, or maybe you’re just playing “hard to get.” But really, all this will do is convince your crush that you don’t really care to talk, or that you’re just not interested.
3. But don’t text them back too quickly, either.
This will come off as super creepy, especially if you keep replying just seconds after you’ve received a new message. It makes you look a bit clingy and desperate, so when you get a new text, allow for at least a minute or two to pass before responding.
4. Adding emojis is not required.
Yes, adding some fun emojis is totally fine, but it’s not always required to have a really good conversation. So don’t feel like you have to add an emoji to every single text.
5. Don’t overuse phrases like “LOL” and “Hahaha.”
Just recently, I noticed that I’ve picked up the habit of adding “lol,” “lmao” and “hahaha” to almost every single text that I send my friends. And you know what the funny part is? Most of those texts aren’t even funny. If you’re one of those people who always feels the need to add an “lol” to every text like it’s a personal signature, try your best to ditch that habit when texting your crush.
6. Don’t overdo it with the punctuation marks.
If you want to convey excitement, don’t text an entire line of exclamation marks. And if you’re asking a question, don’t use more than one question mark. Too many punctuation marks can be overwhelming and it’s just not a good look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (See what I mean?)
7. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversation if it feels like you’ve lost touch.
If you guys haven’t talked in a while, it’s okay to reach out to them first and break the silence. And no, this will not make you look too clingy. It actually shows them that you’re still interested.
8. Do not freak out if they don’t respond to you right away.
This is so much easier said than done, so I get it. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of freak-out sessions when a guy failed to test me back within the next 15 minutes. But you know what? Stressing out doesn’t really do anything to help the situation. It will only drive you crazy and make you do something insane, like send them multiple texts in a row (which another big no no). If you see that they’re taking a while to respond, do something to distract yourself.
9. Don’t pretend to like the things that they like to impress them.
When you text your crush, chances are they’re open up to you about their interests. But whatever you do, do not compromise your personality. For example, if they text you that they’re a huge fan of something that you actually hate, don’t jump at the opportunity to lie and say that you agree with them. Be honest.
10. Don’t over-analyze every message they send you.
Guys aren’t really the type to play mind games and send super complicated messages with hidden meanings when they text. In fact, they’re usually straightforward. So don’t overthink a simple message and assume that they really mean something else.
11. Don’t type a message and then not send it.
One of the most annoying things ever is actually seeing that someone is typing a message, only the find that they aren’t actually going to send anything. If you feel like you’re stuck and you’re not sure how to respond to something, just take a few minutes to think about what you want to say. Once you’ve figured that out, text them back. Don’t leave them hanging.
12. Do not give one-word answers.
One-word responses like “yeah,” “sure,” and “okay” are literally the worst. Put some effort into your responses and try for a full sentence.
13. Unless the topic comes up, don’t talk about your single status.
If you bring this topic up out of the blue, it’ll seem like you’re desperate to be in a relationship. And even worse, your crush might misinterpret this and think that they should set you up with someone else.
14. Don’t rely on your friends to respond for you.
Okay, I have to admit that even I’m guilty of this. One time, when a guy I liked texted me I literally took a screen shot, sent it to my friend and texted: “What am I supposed to say to this?” But as tempting as it might be to ask for help, you really should try your best to carry the conversation on your own. After all, your best friend won’t be there with you 24/7 to push you along.
15. Proofread your texts.
I cannot tell you how annoying it is to see some texters mix up “your” and “you’re,” or “they’re,” “there,” and “their.” Don’t make these mistakes when you’re texting your crush.
Which of these rules surprised you the most? Have you made any of these mistakes before? Tell us in the comments below!