I really need help. I get wet a lot before I have sex with my boyfriend and I always feel embarrassed about it because it seems like it’s too much. What can I do to reduce it? How do I know if I’m getting wet too much?
First, I just want to reassure you that getting wet down there is totally normal. I know it’s not always discussed in sex ed, and so the first time it happens, a lot of girls feel totally freaked out and confused. The truth is, getting wet is basically the female version of a man getting a hard on. Women typically get wet down there when they’re turned on, but it can happen at other random times too – and it’s not the same as discharge. But how do you know if you get wet too much?
I’m bringing in my friend Dr. Sherry Ross from the site HelloFlo (a monthly period care package you need to check out) to give us some serious answers. She said, “When you are sexually excited or aroused, a healthy vagina produces a lubrication that has an ‘egg white’ consistency. The glands in the vagina produce fluids with an appropriate sexual response, which means your body, mind and vagina are responding and working together normally.” That’s a good thing!
Okay, okay, I know, we both just basically said the same thing. So back to your question. Dr. Ross said: “I don’t think you can ever be too wet when sexually stimulated. It’s a compliment to your partner, who is clearly hitting all the right spots literally… possibly even your G-spot!” So does getting wet mean you’re coming like a guy does? No, not exactly.
Dr. Ross says, “Squirting, gushing, female ejaculation or coming’ are words to describe a true sexual phenomenon. When sexually aroused or stimulated, there is an expulsion of fluid that comes from the glands around a women’s urethra, or anterior surface of the vagina, during or before an orgasm. This occurrence is also thought to be related to having your G-spot stimulated. It was found that 10-30 percent of women have at one time or another had a ‘gushing’ moment during orgasm. For some the gush feels as though you are wetting the bed and for others it is less obvious. Others are confused they are actually losing urine when sexually aroused.” That feeling is different from just getting wet.
Still not convinced? Dr. Ross says, “Whether you are getting overly wet or squirting, both are healthy sexual responses you are blessed to be experiencing.” Basically, this is a good thing. You have no reason to feel embarrassed. Your body is doing the right thing! On top of that, dudes get really turned on when they see girls are wet. You obviously shouldn’t change your mind about it because it’s making a guy happy, but that’s good to know! No one thinks you’re weird, and you shouldn’t either.
As for the question of how you can make it happen less – unfortunately, you can’t. This is just one of those body things you don’t have any control over. It’s really not “unfortunate,” though. Your body is making sure sex feels good for you – without that natural lube, it would be super painful. So really, you should be grateful for this situation! Remember that next time it makes you feel anxious.