25 Hilarious Valentine’s Day Cards You Absolutely Must Give To Your Crush This Year

Well, it’s hard to believe, but it is *officially* that time of year again–you know. Valentine’s Day season. If you’ve got a significant other, this is great. I don’t mean to be one of those people who posts spoilers on the Internet, but those of you currently in relationships can probably expect lots of personal cards, chocolate, and flowers when the fourteenth of February rolls around (I know this because I googled “most popular gifts for Valentine’s Day” and those were the results, by the way).

But perhaps you are still on the prowl for a Valentine. If so, don’t worry. I’ve rounded up the very best of those weird-ass Comic Sans Valentine’s Day cards that the Internet has to offer, and while I can’t guarantee it, obviously, I’m pretty sure that if you give your crush one of these cards on V-Day, they will instantly fall madly in love with you. They’ll be all, “Will you run away and keep me company while I’m on tour?” and you’ll have to say, “No–I have my own busy life and illustrious career to focus on, can’t you see that?” and they’ll say, “Yes, I understand. I’ll follow you wherever you go, for I am Meek Mill and you are Nicki Minaj, my Queen,” and you’ll be like, “Exactly. Thank you.” Anyway. Check out these exceptionally hilarious Valentine’s Day cards. As you can see, they carry a great deal of power, so use them responsibly:

1. Just say those two words everyone wants to hear–“bless” and “up:”


2. Hit them with an obligatory Mean Girls reference:


3. And this beautiful sentiment:


4. Whisper “bet you thought you’d seen the last of me” as you slip one thousand printouts of this card in their locker:


5. Who could remain out of love after receiving this card?



6. And this one?


7. They must know:


8. With the recent passing of High School Musical‘s ten-year reunion, this is more than timely:


9. Also timely–Oscar season is here!


10. That fine line between “offensive” and “brilliant” is what makes a Valentine’s Day card so supremely clutch:


11. Poetry, really and truly:



12. Here’s another Drake one, because why not?


13. Give them the Lion King x Kanye West collab they didn’t even know they needed until this very moment:


14. Maybe your crush is in the Illuminati? You should probably give them this, just in case:


15. Nice. Subtle. Timeless:


16. Your crush will EXTREMELY feel:



17. Welp:


18. If your crush is a meme-head, this is the most romantic thing you could ever give them, probably:


19. Mike Wazowski–the finest aphrodisiac out there:


20. If you’re feeling “bold:”


21. Maybe you just want to let a friend know how much they mean to you?



22. 😉


23. If your crush has abandonment issues, this should quell them immediately:


24. This is…horrible, objectively. But attention-grabbing, if that’s what you’re looking for:


25. If you’re in doubt, just take this subtle approach:


Will your crush be lucky enough to receive one of these cards? Which one was your fave? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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