What’s a single girl to do on Valentine’s Day? If you were to adhere to most of the advice you’ve probably gotten from various magazines and publications over the years, your options might seem limited. You know, like, inviting your “girls” over for a DIY Pinterest mani-pedi and face mask night. Having a “single ladies” evening in which you listen to Beyonce and bake cupcakes that you decorate with homemade renderings of your ex’s face in icing form. Chillin’ with all of your fellow spinsters as you weep into a cookie cake and have a double-feature viewing,analysis, and discussion of the Magic Mike canon.
It’s not that any of these options are bad, necessarily–I, personally, am pro-weeping, cookie cake gorging and Magic Mike peer-reviews on pretty much any day of the year–but, at a certain point, they start to grow stale. This is where I come in, fellow single ladies–as someone who has managed to stay definitively single for each and every Valentine’s Day of my young life (not trying to brag ), I happen to know a thing or two about keeping the romance and mystery of the day “fresh.”If you’re looking for more that at-home pedicures and rom-com viewings, check out these unexpected things that all single girls should do on Valentine’s Day:
1. Have a “Galentine’s Day” party.
Okay, so according to my intro, this is not “unexpected,” maybe. But perfect regardless–gather your girls and lavish one another with gifts. Or don’t do anything corny or related to Valentine’s Day and just hang out and complain about everyone who has ever hurt you. Sounds pathetic, but is usually quite fun.
2. Find instructions to make a DIY bear pelt on Pinterest. Wear it to go see The Revenant.
Better yet, stay at the theater all day. You’ll be so cozy in your pelt.
3. Revamp your entire wardrobe.
Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday this year so you’ve got a whole day to do this. Look at some mood boards. Plumb the depths of Rihanna’s Instagram. Buy (cheaper) replicas of everything that North West has ever worn. Come Monday, you’ll have a whole new look.
4. Become a lifestye guru.
There’s clearly a gaping hole in the self-help market for a lifestyle website that exclusively panders to people who want ethically-sourced Malaysian tupperwear in which to store their quail eggs. You alone can fill this niche.
5. Become a goth.
Different from just revamping your style, because being goth is more of a lifestyle, you know?
6. Hold a seance.
The ultimate *~girls night~* activity! There’s a WikiHow page for it, you’ve really got no excuse.
7. Reinvigorate your Neopets page.
You used to love those little guys. Make this day of love about them.
8. Create, raise, and ultimately kill an entire Sims family.
All in a day’s work.
9. Respond to any and all thirsty V-Day texts with Hannibal Lecter quotes.
The only way to do it.
10. Give yourself an absolutely insane DIY manicure that confines you to your home for the entire day.
“Can’t go out. Why? Oh, my nails are setting. For six hours”
11. Film Justin Bieber music videos using the “snail” video filter on Snapchat and post it to your story.
“One Time” takes on a decidedly more sinister tone when you watch it in slow-motion.
12. Watch that split second in which Drake appears in the Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris music video for “Baby” over and over.
12. Call Kendall Jenner “mom” on the Internet until she notices you.
13. Tweet at your celebrity crush until they decide to date you.
Hey, if it worked for one girl…
14. If they don’t propose after a few hours, take revenge by editing their Wikipedia page.
Got banned from Wikipedia for making all the verbs on the Ray Romano page hypothetical 🙁 pic.twitter.com/MzwufmB8p6
— Mike Rosenthal (@VectorBelly) January 5, 2016
Maybe you’ll get banned. So be it. No one said it was “easy” being single on Valentine’s Day.
15. Cyberbully Zac Efron for missing the High School Musical reunion.
@ZacEfron 10 million? 10? As in 10 year reunion you MESSED UP GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME! WERE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!! WHAT TEAM? WILDCATS! WH
— ray (@shadyboyband) January 19, 2016
16. Be “that girl” and insist upon referring to the day as being named after your favorite feminist icon.
17. Bake, but only foods that have absolutely no sex appeal.
Such as meat loaf. Or ham. Or hard-boiled eggs–all of which are, objectively, the least sexy and most hilarious foods.
18. Make an inflammatory Facebook status that will keep people on your Facebook occupied aaallllll day.
It’s almost too easy.
19. Catfish someone.
— How We Broke Up (@HowWeBrokeUp) January 7, 2016
I mean, not, like, just anyone. That’s mean. But maybe you have an especially terrible ex…?
20. Become an inspirational Snapchat icon:
21. Marry your one true love.
Because today, above all else, is about making you happy.
Are you single this Valentine’s Day? What are your plans? Let us know in the comments!