17 Things That Reveal Why You Should Never Actually Be In A Relationship

One of my very favorite things to do–well, other than find out everything there is to know about other people’s relationships and subsequent breakupsis do things that maintain my status as a very single girl. I regularly send out Snapchats of me brushing my teeth with activated charcoal so they look completely black. I often hang out on the Anne of Green Gables Wikipedia page late at night rather than texting people back. If I was told that I could be in a stable, fulfilling, lifelong relationship but I’d also have to give up, I don’t know, coffee or chocolate or talking about the egregious disparities between the book version and TV iterations of the character Chuck Bass in Gossip Girl (there are so many! Don’t even get me started!), I’d really have to think long and hard about which one I’d rather have.

Basically, I like to be alone–and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. The thing is, sometimes bae is not bae–that is, by definition, before anyone else–because, to be before anyone else, they’d also have to be before you, technically. And that certainly isn’t happening anytime soon. You have some incredibly important things to work out with yourself, after all. Check out these totally legitimate reasons why, actually, you just aren’t ready for a relationship right now:

1. Because you know exactly what you’d pick in this situation:

http://the-lesbian-thespian.tumblr.com/post/135328043642


 

2. And sometimes, even just hearing about other peoples’ relationships makes you wish for death to claim you:


 

3. Or, for death to claim them:


 

4. Because you don’t hang out with just anyone:
can-you-hangout
Source
 

5. Like, you can’t waste your time with anyone who rushes your feeding process:


 

6. Or your grooming procedures, for that matter:


 

7. One must have priorities, after all:


 

8. Not that you’d ever initiate hanging out with anyone, either:

http://lesbianwerewolf.cf/post/132950030111/never-gets-texts-from-anyone-ever-constantly


 

9. Plus, if you ever were in a relationship, you’d just pull stunts like this:
ranch
Source
 

10. And this:

http://graduategeekgamergay.tumblr.com/post/120112087779/this-is-why-im-single


 

11. Aaaaand this:


 

12. In fact, you already have your plan ready for any time you need to atone for your behavior in any future wrongs in your relationships:


 

13. Because, let’s face it–you’re not too great with “emotions” and “support:”

A photo posted by thefatjewish (@thefatjewish) on


 

14. It’s not your fault, though–it’s just because you’ve been burned before. Literally:

A photo posted by @single_because on


 

15. Which makes dating as a whole…not ideal:

http://candidconfessionsofa20-something.tumblr.com/post/109546029246/making-small-talk-on-first-dates


 

16. Sometimes, just hearing your own voice makes that very evident:

http://itsjust-suziee.tumblr.com/post/73060031179


 

17. It’s cool, though. You’re feeling yourself, and that’s all that matters, isn’t it?


 

Do you relate to these posts? Which one was your favorite? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

11 Things No One Ever Tells You About Being Dumped

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  • Demeter

    relate 😀