Last night I read an amazing article about a dude whose pickup artist techniques led to him blogging, tweeting, and podcasting about his sexual exploits online. Without going into too much detail, his recollections were, uh, how should I put this? Okay, they were really disturbing and showed a lot of aggression and hatred toward women he slept with and women in general. He eventually got into a lot of trouble for it, but reading it made me think about all of the other dudes out there who date women, have sex with women, but hold awful opinions about women. I then started doing a little poking around on corners of the internet–from Reddit to random blogs–that were dedicated to sexist men who think that women are naturally manipulative, that men get the short end of the stick in the world, and that girls who dare to have sex with multiple people are used goods.
Basically, I found the corners of the internet full of men who hate women, but still feel bad when they’re rejected by one at a party. Boo effing hoo. Most of these guys are relatively harmless, while others take this subculture a little too seriously and end up murdering college girls because of it.
Unfortunately, these types of dudes are all around us; some can even be super charming. Hell, you could be friends with, sisters with, or even dating a guy like this right now. It’s that last bit that’s truly worrying. Just to be on the safe side, here are seven signs that your boyfriend actually hates women. Don’t assume that just because he’s with you that he doesn’t have some seriously effed up views.
He Slut ShamesThis is more than just calling a girl slutty. He thinks that somebody wearing a revealing outfit is asking for it and he thinks that girls who have sex with multiple partners are used goods. He's obsessed with a woman's purity, but doesn't really think that men should be held to the same standard. Arrested Development
He Talks Badly About Women, But You're An 'Exception'Does your BF tend to think negatively about women in a way that perpetuates old stereotypes and the status quo? This can, range from thinking that women aren't very smart, to bad mouthing his ex, to regularly calling women sluts, bitches, and hoes. Just because he hasn't said that you're not smart or hasn't called you a bitch doesn't change a thing; he either just hasn't expressed himself or he sees you as an exception (for now). Clueless
He Has Old Fashioned Ideas Of A Woman's PlaceEveryone is different, and everybody has different ideas of what it means to be traditional or progressive. But please, be aware if your boyfriend has some disagreeable old school beliefs about women. If he's very invested in women knowing that they are "lower" than men, run. If he thinks that every woman should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, run. If he thinks that women shouldn't be in positions of power, period, run. Pinterest
He Thinks Every Difference Between Men And Women Can Be Explained Away As 'Human Nature'A lot of sexist dudes love evolutionary biology/psychology, which generally uses the instincts and behaviors of our distant ancestors to explain behavior today. Usually, they'll use this information to claim that women shouldn't work because they're natural nurturers, or that men deserve a lot of sex because our ancestors needed to have sex to preserve the species. Blah blah blah, basically using faux science to excuse gross opinions. Dazed And Confused
He Has A Burning Hatred For FeminismLet's be real: There are a lot of guys and girls who either don't know much about feminism or don't think very highly of it. But be on the lookout if your guy has a tendency to blame feminism for just about everything. And I mean everything. Girls being cool with shaving less? Feminism's fault for inspiring women to stop being so feminine. Men coming out of the closet? Feminism's fault, because feminism emasculates men. Rape? Single motherhood? Feminism's fault, because feminism teaches women to drive away men. And so on. It's not a good look. Daria
He Is ControllingThis is probably one of the most telling signs that something is up. Controlling behavior can include telling you what to wear, monitoring your movements, checking your phone, not letting you hang out with your friends, etc. This is also a red flag for a potentially abusive relationship, so if this kind of BS escalates, try to break things off as soon as possible. Rosea Lake
He Has A General Lack Of Empathy Toward Issues Women FaceWomen's rights? Abortion access? Equal pay? Street harassment? Domestic Abuse? All of these issues, and more, definitely affect loads of women, but if your boyfriend doesn't seem to care about them, that's a bad sign. Like, seriously, don't waste your time with somebody who doesn't think that the sexist/racist structure of the pay gap is worth being upset about. Don't ignore that joke your boyfriend made about rape. This is a dude who lacks basic empathy, and you deserve better. Pinterest
Do you have a BF like this? Do you have male friends or family members who are like this? Tell us in the comments!