12 Things You Wish You Could Say To Your Boyfriend But Probably Never Will

When I was in second grade, my class was told to ask someone older than us what the keys were to a healthy relationship. This was, retrospectively, an odd homework assignment for a bunch of seven-year-olds, but I performed my due diligence and asked who I thought was the wisest person in the world–my sixteen-year-old babysitter, Casey. I guess she was feeling bitter that day, or something, because when I posed the question, she snorted heavily and said this: “The key?” she said. “The key is lying just enough to keep everything going okay. At least, with my boyfriend and me.”

I don’t think that this is true for all relationships–healthy ones, that is–but you have to admit that, even in most functional and rewarding of relationships, there are often some things that are better left unsaid. Like, say, what exactly you think of their best friend.  Or their somewhat-adorable, somewhat-nauseating movie preferences. Or that new shirt they just bought and really love, but is…a bad choice, sartorially. It’s silly and not worth the aftermath to speak aloud so, you’ll never say them–or, at least, you probably shouldn’t–but you can read them over here and think about how worth it it might be, actually, to say aloud. Check out these things you wish you could say to your boyfriend, but probably never will:


1. “Here’s the thing: I know you love that DJ Khaled “we the best” shirt.”



2. “I, however, hate that shirt. It’s not personal. You just look…so bad in it.”




3. “Maybe I will ‘borrow’ it to ‘sleep’ in and then ‘lose’ it.”



4. “Who is that girl? And why did you like her Instagram picture?”



5. “Why is your friend Kyle always…here?”



6.  “I know you’ve been friends with him since you were really little. That’s why you can’t tell that, objectively speaking, he is terrible.”



7. “Liking V For Vendetta doesn’t make you a film buff, dude.”




8. “If I have to hear you talk about how you can “relate” to Don Draper from Mad Men one more time…”



9. “Same with Jordan Belfort from Wolf of Wall Street. ‘Thinking about majoring in finance’ does not a Jordan Belfort make.”



10. “You don’t have to ask me to come over and ‘Netflix and chill’ anymore. You can just say ‘hang out.’ We’re at that level.”



11.  “What if we broke up? Like, temporarily? Just to, you know, see if I like that better, but if I don’t we go right back to the way things are. Sound good?”




12. “Why can’t you just be, like…exactly what I want, exactly when I need you, and exactly where I want you to be all the time?”



Have you ever wished that you could say any of these things to your boyfriend? Did I forget anything? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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