11 Of The Most Insane Reasons Why People Have Broken Up That Prove Love Is A Lie

Like most people, I absolutely live for a good breakup story.  What can I say? Schadenfreude is a peculiarly satisfying emotion and, as a self-admitting disciple to it, I positively salivate over any story that involves any kind of soap opera-level breakup and relationship drama. (Respectfully, of course). One time, I was at the Whitney museum, and I overheard this lady in the elevator say to her friend, “Yes, so after she went back to Julliard to find him, he decided to up and leave her at the altar. She’s okay now, though, since she’s getting her Minister’s license,” and it was all I could do to not follow her out of the elevator and ask her to explain everything she’d just said. I had so many follow-up questions.

Fortunately, there happens to be a way for me to get all the relationship drama I crave without harassing strangers at art museums. It comes in the form of a Twitter account called, simply, “How We Broke Up.”As the name implies, it’s an account that lets people release their own breakup stories into the wild for others to peruse and commiserate with. Obviously, there’s no way to ascertain that all of these stories are exactly true–and, as you’ll see, there’s basically no way that some of them could be–but that’s not really the point. Check out these breakup stories that are, above all else, incredibly amusing:

1. The Zoo? TOO FAR:


2. At the end of the day, it’s just nice that this moment was captured and that you are keeping the important ones in your life informed:

3. Who hasn’t had a similar experience with their first love, be it another human or Hidden Valley ranch dressing?


4. As one wise twitter user said in response to this story, “never trust a guy without a phone, fam:”


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  • Ameena Hamid

    “he was brain” “he would write me poems and breakfast in an envelope” “blueberry and brain muffin” I laughed for like 20 minutes at that alone… 😀