15 Real Guys Share Their Relationship Insecurities

Relationships are scary. Opening up your heart and leaving yourself vulnerable to someone you really like isn’t easy, and feeling worried and nervous about what is going to happen is totally normal. Everyone has insecurities about relationships – even guys. For some reason, there’s a misconception in society that dudes don’t care about relationships or the feelings that come along with them. This couldn’t be less true.

Just like many of us, boys stress over the dating world and their crushes. They worry about what they’re going to say, where they’re going to take a date, how they’re going to act around you, what you’ll think of them and their family and friends. Many guys try to hide these fears because society says they should – but in reality, they truly are just as nervous as many of you are.

To prove that point, I spoke to 16 different dudes about their personal relationship insecurities, and a lot of common threads were made apparent. Many guys are worried about being able to understand girls. They don’t want to be rejected, and they feel jealous about the other guys you’re friends with. They definitely don’t want to be cheated on. Moral of the story? The guys you crush on aren’t always as confident as they seem. If you don’t believe me, keep reading and find out what these 15 real guys said about their relationship insecurities: 

That She'll Realize She's Too Good For Him

Austin: I'm always worried a better guy is gonna come along...smarter, better looking etc. And feeling insecure about whether her parents really like me or not.

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Mixing Up Her Signals

Eric: The biggest thing probably roots from not understanding girls and their emotions. Like not knowing if she is flirting or just being friendly. Or thinking that she is giving a sign and she really isn’t. I also worry about girls giving me signs and me not realizing it. I also worry that she is hanging out with me just to get with my friends.

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That Feelings Will Go Away

Paul: That the spark won’t be there after the first few dates. If you really like a girl, is she interested back? If an amazing girl dumps you, that you’ll be able to find someone better and not settle.

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That He's Not Manly Enough

Jake: Honestly being a guy I think I’m the best thing that can happen to a girl but if there’s one thing it’s that a girl will find me too honest and compassionate and not “macho” enough.

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Other Guy Friends She Has

Tyler: Close guy friends. Most girls I’ve encountered have an overlap in relationships. Seems like they always need an “on deck.” And I’ve always been of the belief that completely platonic opposite sex friends rarely exist.

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That His Body Isn't In Good Enough Shape

Tom: I’m worried about not being in good enough shape. I feel that I need to be super fit like the guys on TV/movies.

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That He'll Be A Bad Boyfriend

Jeremy: Being a bad boyfriend, losing time to hang out with friends, and being cheated on.

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About The Girl Not Being Honest

Matt: I'm insecure about her being open and honest. I can’t read minds, I hate second guessing and trying to read situations.

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How To Act

Josh: One thing is figuring out how to act when you’re just around her, when she’s with you and your friends, and when you’re with her and her friends. Gotta act a little different around them all obviously which can be stressful. Plus you’re worried about how your guy friends will act around her and if they’ll get along. You want to be a gentleman but not a pushover or a tool, so you gotta toe the line. And I’m worried about who likes who more...you don’t want to date a girl who’s obsessed but you also don’t want to seem like the one obsessed.

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That She'll Cheat

Nick: I was cheated on once, and I’m worried it will happen again.

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Basically Everything

Mike: Number of things depending on the person. After you start dating you know they at least like you or they wouldn't have said yes, but will their friends like you? That right there is a sink or swim because if they don't like you, it's over. Will your friends like them, then later on will your friends get along with her friends? Even then as a guy you want to be able to take care of her, buy her dinner, etc. and you can be worried that something you do won't be nice enough. Even if she doesn't think it, that stuff is in the back of your head. Social norms are still a big thing and you're supposed to be a protector and what not and make sure she's okay and while that's "old school" in terms of thinking you never want to screw that job up in any way.

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Not Doing The Right Thing

Chris: Insecure about being good enough. Especially if it's the first relationship you're ever been in, you live in honeymoon-land at first and then after awhile you may start to think, "How do I not screw this up!" Suddenly you start clinging too hard, putting pressure on the person you're with for validation, things like that. You're not great to be around in that mindset and eventually they'll lose interest.

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All The Little Things

Luke: The list of things I’m insecure about in a relationship is pretty long. Opposite gender friendships, both mine and hers. Can’t have a double standard for it, but it’s hard not being suspicious of some guys when I know how untrustworthy we can be, generally speaking. How much time to spend together and apart. There are silly things too, like how much of a nerd is it okay to be, body image and such. All that depends on relationship maturity too. Very different list in first couple months vs. a longer term one.

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Being Too Shy

Jake: I’m just shy.

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That He'll Hurt Her

Jacob: I think the biggest insecurity about relationships is that I don’t want to hurt any girl I’m with but I feel like eventually, I always do.

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Which of these relationship insecurities can you relate to the best? What are your relationship insecurities? Let us know in the comments.


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