I have known a guy online for over a year and we’ve met a few times. Sometimes jokes by pretending to be my boyfriend or husband but he’s told me before that he would not date me due to our differences in faiths. Though I felt a bit offended by this, I was beginning to accept the fact that we can’t be together and took a month-long break from him. Now he wants to reconnect and keeps asking if I’m dating anyone. What should I do?
Online relationships are super tricky for a number of reasons, but to be honest, your problem has nothing to do with where you two met or interact for the most part. The situation you’re faced with in terms of religion is very common, and there are a few possible solutions to make things work if that’s your ultimate hope.
It sounds like what you’ve got on your hands is a guy who wants the best of both worlds, and is also sort of using you to live out a bit of a fantasy. If he comes from a very religious background, the idea of being with you is completely off the table in reality, but he’s still enjoying the fantasy of it all. While there’s always the possibility that you could convert to his religion, it sounds like that’s going to be the deal breaker in the end.
At the same time, he may be stringing you along so he doesn’t feel as alone. It’s always great when you’ve got a person who is “your special someone,” even if only in the online setting, and when that’s taken away, it leaves you feeling empty. The fact that he’s asking about your dating life is probably to see if he can reignite the “what if” fantasy for a bit longer.
There is a freedom “behind the keyboard” that often lets fantasies like this feel a bit more serious, but you again need to look the long-term. If you guys can’t actually be together in real life, it’s going to make the relationship all the more difficult. While online love is certainly a thing, when you combine it with the religious issues, it sounds like there’s not much positive to build from.
If I were you, I’d Friend Zone him if you know that the religion element will always keep you from having a full, real relationship. If he can’t accept that, then you may need to extend your month-long break to a more permanent status. Hopefully he understands, and you’ll have yourself a great friend for life!
Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.
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