Ever since the time I was very small, I’ve always found it to be incredibly important for everyone to have a “song.” This is because your song is not just a song, of course–it’s a potent means of self-expression. It’s a vehicle for talking about yourself without actually having to talk about yourself. It’s an excuse to scream “THIS IS MY SONG,” turn up the radio in the car and order everyone else to stop speaking. This song doesn’t have to stay the same from year to year, or even day to day, of course–when I was six, my song was basically the entire Mary Poppins soundtrack, while ten years later, it was a Rihanna album. Songs change. Times change. You change. (My song right now, if you are wondering, is “Your Type” by the underrated pop gem Carly Rae Jepsen, for reasons I will gladly explain in an encyclopedia-length article later on.)
But today, the time has come for you to figure out what your song is–and it is your horoscope sign that is deciding it, so you can rest assured that it is objectively, 100%, undeniably true. That’s right–your own song has been written in the stars, and the kind of people of Tumblr have been good enough to decipher it for you. Check out what your song should actually be, based on your horoscope sign. You’ve got a lot of options:
1. Obviously, since it’s from Tumblr, we need to start with Lana Del Rey:
2. Should probably throw in Halsey too, here, if we’re talking about Tumblr faves:
3. What about Vampire Weekend?
4. Which of your parents’ favorite songs are you?
5. Are you your favorite Taylor Swift song?
6. What about the songs you hear on the radio?
7. Which Bey song has she deigned to bless you with?
8. Shhh. We’ll pretend it’s still the Christmas season:
10. What about Bo Burhnam–do you stan for him? (Or, rather, do you stan for the song lyric your sign has picked for you?)
11. Which arbitrary song on this girl’s iPod are you?
12. Also, it is extremely important that you figure out which JoBros song you are:
13. As well as your true Drake song, obviously:
14. Which Ed Sheeran song would he croon to you, based on your sign?
15. CONTENTIOUS BEATLES OPINION AHEAD:
16. Okay, here’s the Beatles song that you actually are:
17. Ham-heads, I’m ending this on a strong note for you all:
Do you think your songs fit you? Which was your favorite post? Let us know in the comments!