Female sexual pleasure can be difficult to talk about thanks to societal taboos, general discomfort around the subject, and lack of knowledge. Thankfully, there are websites to smash that patriarchal bullshit and help you have the best orgasm ever. From my experience, the female orgasm is elusive and a little bit tricky (tbh, I did not have an orgasm until I was in my early 20’s, so I truly mean it when I say “elusive and tricky”). Some women even go most of their lives without having one. Whether you’re partnered or going at it solo, the pleasure you want to have could be difficult to come by.
If the majority of your sex life is solo, good for you. For starters, you have to be deliberate about your orgasm. It’s not as intuitive as it would be if you had a penis. When I heard that I needed to teach myself how to come before I could show a partner, the pressure I felt was insane! You have to get real about the fact that no person is going to swoop into your life and grant you multiple orgasms. Life and sex do not work that way. Having baggage about your lady parts being ugly, an attitude about masturbators being “desperate,” and the general shame and anxiety about maybe having to hide it from your parents will certainly get in the way of you achieving climax.
However, if the majority of your sex life is partnered, good for you, too. Similarly to solo-sex, no one person is going to magically unlock your ability to come. What can be frustrating with partnered sex is being able to have an easy-breezy-nbd orgasm with masturbation, but as soon as you introduce a partner, it’s just… not there like it used to be. Suddenly there’s another person looking at your naked body, you’re being touched by someone who isn’t you, and it’s certainly harder to keep sex hidden from your parents than masturbating.
Whatever the case, there are websites out there to help you get it on and get it right. And I’m not just talking about THIS site, guys. Whether you’re partnered or solo, these sites are informative, fun, and at times, totally revolutionary. Check them out in a private-browsing tab if you’re worried about an incriminating cyber trail. Hopefully in the future, gaining access to pro-orgasm materials won’t be so taboo.
Here are seven websites to take your orgasms to the next level – but, you should be warned that all of these are NSFW… or school… or your parent’s laptop… just, do this in your room, okay?
All hail this website. Large scale research about what makes women come: in the words of DJ Kahled’s snapchat, “bless up.” From the collected experiences of over 2,000 women all sharing their different techniques about what gets them off in partnership with Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute, this website offers up a new technology that gives you real time feedback on your technique until you’ve perfected it. So yes, it is explicit (thank you, touch screen vaginas) and as it turns out comes at a price of $39. It comes with real testimonials from the participants as well as demos. You can try the free demo for edging here and use your headphones.
For those of you who don’t have a taste for the athletic sport-f*cking of porn and the scripted feel of it, there’s Beautiful Agony, which started as a multi-media experiment and has now become an entity unto itself. They are shoulders-t0-head shots of people, sometimes solo and sometimes coupled, having their own unscripted, genuine orgasm. That’s it. Unfortunately, it’s paid as well, but there are free sample videos to be had. If you ever felt self conscious about your o-face or the noises you make when you come, please browse these videos and feel really okay and at ease. Everyone is different.
This single topic Tumblr turned podcast contains personal essays from women about orgasm and what makes them come. Some are silly, others are about what went wrong, and the rest of them will probably turn you on. Never underestimate the power of shared experiences, techniques, and fantasies and their ability to shower the Internet with unbridled sex-ed and enough knowledge about orgasms to make your head spin.
Laci Green is the sex ed teacher we all wished we had. She’s factual and funny while still being always interesting with new topics and fresh takes on sex, gender, and feminism. Her whole YouTube channel is great, but her guide to orgasm is amazing. If you’re hung up about having or not having an orgasm and the pressure behind it, please watch this. Let Laci guide you through this. She’s gotten a whole lot of e-mails from vagina-havers about not being able to come and she’s here to help.
If you’re idly touching your clit waiting for something to happen, consider activating your imagination. You might need an extra kick to get going. Take a fun 10 question quiz about what fantasy might turn you on. It’s a good tool to have solo or if you would like to bring this new information to a partner to see if they’d like to play one out with you. What’s not to love about a quiz? This one is going to open up your biggest sex organ: your brain.
Totally anonymous with the ability to customize questions and participate via one computer or two, this website is for partnered sexual relationships. Find out what your partner is in to, what they would be open to, and how into it you both would be. You only answer the questions you want to and this site’s default questions open up ideas I never thought of, personally, when it comes to sex. It’s a fun, light hearted way to open up this conversation without a literal checklist.
An 18+ comic (because it’s explicit, but honestly, f-ck that noise) featuring people of all gender expressions and abilities are here to teach you about sexual pleasure. I love OhJoySexToy. It’s a graphic, funny, how-to about turning yourself on and making yourself come. It takes you all the way from being in the right state of mind to let go to actual techniques if you’re a newbie to touching yourself. It’s ultra helpful (and almost entirely pink).
Which of these websites have you checked out? Which is your favorite? What did we forget to include?
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.