11 Unwritten Rules To Follow Before You Have Sex For The First Time

Sex is great, but at the same time, it’s highly overrated. A lot of people are convinced that it’s supposed to be this perfect, memorable and life-changing experience, but that’s not always the case. The truth is, sex can be pretty messy and awkward. This is especially true for people who never had sex before.


Most people have really high expectations when it comes to sex. And you can’t really blame them, considering the kind of sex scenes whe’ve grown used to on TV. But unfortunately, this puts a lot more pressure on first timers. I mean, just the idea of trying it out for the first time is kind of scary, but feeling the need to measure up to such an unrealistic standard? That honestly sucks. I just wish that more people knew that it’s perfectly okay to get into it without having the slightest clue what you’re doing. It’s okay to mess up, and a few awkward moments does’t mean that it’s the end of the world. As long as you relax and let things flow naturally, you’ll be fine!

But before you get busy, there are some simple rules that you should keep in mind. If you’re a virgin who wants to make their first sexual experience as enjoyable as possible, then check out these 11 unwritten rules to follow before you have sex.

1. Embrace the awkwardness.


Let’s face it: Having sex for the first time is awkward. But one huge mistake that couples make is that they allow the awkwardness to kill the mood and make them feel even more uncomfortable. Just relax and laugh it off if something embarrassing happens.


2. Don’t plan too much.


Don’t decide that you and your partner are going to have sex in your bedroom when the clock strikes midnight. That will only build anticipation and make you feel even more nervous.


3. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself.


It’s easy to get so caught up with what you’re doing that you forget to just enjoy yourself.


4. Having an orgasm is great, but it’s not required.


Although it’s possible to orgasm during your first time, the chances of that actually happening are very slim. After all, it’s only your first time. And you don’t necessarily need to have an orgasm to enjoy the experience.


5. Do not treat sex like it’s porn.


You’re not auditioning to be a porn star, so don’t get too rough or go over the top with sex positions. Just relax, take your time, and do what feels comfortable.


6. Don’t stay too quiet.


There’s probably nothing worse than having sex with someone who’s unresponsive or basically mute. Encourage your significant other by letting them know what feels good.


7. Ignore all the stuff you’ve seen in TV sex scenes.


You might be tempted to think back to all the steamy sex scenes you’ve seen in movies and compare it to your own experience. Do NOT do that. It will only make you feel less confident in bed, and you won’t enjoy the sex as much.


8. Do NOT freak out if you bleed.


Bleeding after sex is normal, because it may cause your hymen to break for the first time. But this doesn’t mean that bleeding is guaranteed to happen. Just know that it’s a possibility.


9. Don’t be afraid to speak up and say what you want.


If you feel uncomfortable, if you’re in a lot of pain, or if you just want your partner to do something differently, do not be afraid to speak up and tell them that.


10.  Don’t use this as an opportunity to drop the “L” bomb for the first time.


Just, NO. Don’t say it during sex, I promise you that it is the worst possible timing.


11. Don’t mention your ex at all.


This should be a given, but you’d be surprised at how many people end up mentioning their ex while having sex with someone new. No one wants to be compared to the person you’ve broken up with during such an intimate moment (or at all, for that matter), so just avoid the topic.


Do you agree with these unwritten rules for first timers who never had sex? What other rules would you add to the list? Tell us in the comments below!

You can follow the author, Nakeisha Campbell, on Twitter and Instagram.

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  • annoyed

    why do you guys still talk about hymens “breaking” smh