14 Of The Funniest “Me As A Mom” Tweets That Prove You Should Never Be A Parent

If you linger on Pinterest, Tumblr, or Instagram for a long enough time, you’re kind of bound to start thinking that maybe, just maybe, you should become a mom. Sites like these have a way of making you think that, above all else, motherhood is objectively cute. You know what I’m talking about, right? Like, every kid on these websites are exceptionally well-dressed, temper tantrum free, and using their head as the pedestal for the greatest topknot you have ever seen (because all of these Pinterest kids have topknots–I assume that they are the secret to their success).

Being a mom is much harder than that, however–it involves things like “changing diapers” and “trying to rear a competent, constructive member of society” and who wants to deal with that? Fortunately, there’s another social media trend that proves that. It’s also called me as a mom, and it’s mostly found on Twitter. Basically, it follows the same form as the former “me as a mom” posts, but it just shows what all of you would actually be like if you were to become a mom at this point in time–and, as you can imagine, it’s not exactly the bows-and-kittens vision of motherhood that the smarmier top-knotted toddlers on Pinterest would like you to believe.

It’s not that either of these ideas are objectively true, obviously, but the not-so-polished version is much funnier (and probably more responsible, teen pregnancy-wise) to think about. Here are the funniest “me as a mom” tweets that prove that absolutely none of you should be moms–or, at least, not for now:

1. You might bully your kids a little:

 

2. You’ll probably have favorites:

3. You’ll obviously use your kid as a fire selfie accessory:

4. You’ll dance it out on every major holiday:

5. You’ll play some sick pranks:

 

6. You might get a little over-protective:

 

7. You’d be extremely vigilant about grammar above all else:

 

8. But like…not really into the whole “kids” thing:

 

9. Or, come to think of it, the whole “mom” thing in the first place:

 

10. You’d get a little saucy if your kids deigned to infringe upon your coughing rights:

eatmyass

11. But you’d always make sure that your kids are looking good:

 

12. And staying abreast of the latest dance trends:

 

13. And that they have the best pets around:

 

14. Obviously, Kendall Jenner gets it:

Do you think you’d actually be a good mom? Which of these tweets is your fave? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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