I’ve never really had feelings for two people before. But based on what I’ve observed from friends who actually experienced it, I can see that being torn between two people is incredibly stressful. Just when you feel like you’ve found the right person, someone else comes along and sweeps you off your feet.
But then you start to feel guilty, because feeling that strongly about two different people makes you feel like you’re betraying someone. You might start to ask yourself: Do I really have to choose between the two of them? Should I consider actually dating the other person? And does the fact that I have romantic feelings for two people mean that I’m shortchanging them both? What does this really mean?
Feeling torn between two people (or maybe even more… yikes) is something that a lot of people experience. I mean, our emotions are pretty messy and complicated, so we can’t really control how we feel, and unfortunately, there is no easy solution that’s guaranteed to fix this problem. However, there are certain steps that you can take to make this experience a bit simpler and a lot less stressful.
I recently discovered two pretty awesome discussions from our boards about what it’s like to have feelings for two people at once. One reader asked for advice on how to handle having feelings for someone else while in a committed relationship, while the second talked about how to handle having mixed feelings for two guys. And as usual, the advice you guys gave was pretty amazing.
If you’re feeling torn between two people, then check out these seven pieces of advice on what to do if you have feelings for more than one person.
Shortandsimple1990 said:You don't need to choose a guy right now! Why don't you keep talking to both of them and just get to know them better? When you really like someone, you just don't seem to notice other people in the same way. If that hasn't happened yet I think it means both of them aren't that serious. Just see where it goes and don't put so much pressure on the fact that something has to happen right away! Image source: iStock
Raspberry_fizz said:I actually had a similar problem a few months ago and here's how I solved it: Even though it sounds really bitchy, I made a pros and cons list for both of them and I chose who would be there for me more and who made me feel like they actually loved me. Image source: iStock
Sarahbagby said:It is normal to have feelings for more than one guy at a time. I always tell people that if you can't decide who you want to be with, then you don't really want to be with either of them. Image source: iStock
Crushesinwv said:The one that you want the most and have a chance at a relationship with is the one that I would go for. FWB is just that, having fun without any commitment. Image source: iStock
Angelvy07 said:I think what you can do is try making a list. Write good and bad things about both truthfully, and after you're done, compare the list and see which one you can see yourself with. Image source: iStock
Shinyzebra said:I have been in this exact spot. I was going out with a guy and we’ve known each other for 3 years. He asked me out a few days before he had to go back to school, which is three and half hours from where I live, so we were going to try to have a long distance relationship. But then I met this awesome guy and we hit it off instantly. Going through this made me realize the strain the long distant relationship was putting on me so I broke it off. Long distance relationships are stressful and take so much time, but it may not be that way for you. In the end you have to make the final decision. Image source: iStock
AllOutOfLove said:If you love or like two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one. You truly need to figure out this for both of the guys. Image source: iStock
Have you ever had feelings for more than one person at the same time? How did you handle it? Do you have more advice to share? Tell us in the comments below!