Being led on by a crush can be humiliating. In your head, you’re headed for the altar… and meanwhile, your crush has no intention of even dating you. You’re chasing that carrot on a stick without realizing that you’re never going to get to eat that carrot. *sigh* Crushes that lead you on know exactly what they’re doing. They give you just the right amount of attention to keep that flame of hope alive, but fall short of actually making any kind of commitment. They reach out to you when they’re lonely because they know that you care. But are they there for you when you’re lonely? Absolutely not.
I have a friend right now who is being led on hardcore. Her crush knows she’s in love with him, so he’ll send her songs he’s written about her, text her throughout the day, and invite her as his plus-one to his important events. Any girl would think this was leading to relationship-town, right? There’s just one problem: he has a girlfriend. My friend is in denial that he is only using her for her connections in the entertainment business and has no intention of actually dating her. In her heart she knows there’s no chance of them being together, but she still falls for his flattery and attention.
It’s easy to misread the signs and think someone is super into you when they’re not. Here’s how you know that you’re getting strung along by your crush:
They Always Need SomethingDo you find that the majority of the time that your crush is reaching out to you when they have a favor to ask? Most "leading on" situations occur when you have something that your crush needs (money, connections, a pool). They know they've got you in the palm of their hand, so they pull your puppet strings without promising anything in return. Beware of the guy who is impossibly handsome and always asking you for something! Source: iStock
They're Great In Private, Standoffish In PublicYour friends have no idea why you're so hung up on this person, but your BFFs don't see all the attention your crush gives you in private. No, they don't talk to you in school or comment on your wall on Facebook, but they are snapchatting and texting you like crazy. Here's the thing: if they really wanted a relationship with you, they wouldn't be hiding their feelings.
They're Already In A RelationshipI'm sure you're thinking, "Duh! Of course they're leading you on if they're in a relationship!" Girls are masters at denial, though, and can convince themselves of anything! If you're crushing on some horrible guy, he could be giving you hope for romance even though he has no intention of leaving his girlfriend. It's not fair or right, but some guys love attention and will get it at the cost of broking a few hearts. Source: iStock
Everything Is On Their TermsDo you only meet up when they suggest it? Do they never respond when you ask them to come out with you and your friends? Do they rarely follow through when you need them? This is them leading you on. Yes, you're still spending time with them, but they have all the power. Source: iStock
They Constantly Flake On PlansIf they seem excited to meet up with you and then always drop the ball at the last minute, they probably don't value you. Consistently flaking on plans shows a lack of respect for you that means they aren't considering a relationship. They'll still text you and call you when they need you, though, because they know you'll answer the phone. Source: iStock
Just When You Give Up On Them, They Come BackIt's like these people have some type of sonar that alerts them when you're moving on with your life. *Beep beep* "Attention! Richelle is dating and happy without you! Better send her a cute text message!" If your crush goes weeks or months without speaking to you then suddenly reaches out and expects everything to be cool, they're not interested in a serious relationship. They're just interested in having you like them so they can take advantage. Source: iStock
They Don't Introduce You To Their FriendsBeing let into someone's inner circle is a way of saying, "I think this relationship is going somewhere!" Conversely, when you're kept separate from everything else in their life, you're probably being used. They'll kick you to the curb as soon as they've gotten what they need from you. It's cruel! Source: iStock
They Say They're Not Ready For A RelationshipUsually they say they're not ready but continue to show you signs that they are ready. For example, they'll tell you that they're "not looking for anything serious" and then continue to kiss you and call you and hang out with you. If you're desperate, you may choose to read into their actions while ignoring what they've said. "But he acts like my boyfriend! He does everything a boyfriend would do! I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we make it official." WRONG. This is almost never the case. Abort! Abort! Source: iStock
Do you think your crush is leading you on? How do you know? Let me know in the comments below.