10 Christmas Themed Sex Toys You Can’t Unsee

Does anyone else get the squicks just a little with the sexy Santa costumes bound to happen this year (and every Christmas before that)? Is there something inherently sexy about a benevolent, jolly fat man in a red suit giving well behaved children presents? Apparently there is. There are so many different holiday themed sex toys that I can’t burn out of my memory. I wish I could un-Google some things, but c’est la vie. While they’re still perfectly functioning sex toys the other 11 months of the year, these festive thingamabobs are here to spread holiday cheer… in bed. They jingle, they smell like Christmas cookies, and a nice amount of them vibrate. Duh.

Why do we sexualize Christmas? Because it’s funny or because it’s sexy? Maybe a little bit of both. Is it because presents are sexy? Who knows. But, if you’ve decked your halls, trimmed your tree – oh god, all of these could be construed as innuendo – I see how Christmas gets sexual now, and are stuck for an appropriate Christmas treat with your boo (or solo), have a look at these sex toys. If your partner has a sense of humor, and why shouldn’t they, these toys will go over well or at least be good for a laugh. Lest we forget, sex toys are pretty much non-returnable. Donning your slutty elf or reindeer costume to truly make this a festive occasion is optional, but the holidays are only here once a year, so make them count.

Perfect as gag gifts for friends or something silly to put under the tree for your boyfriend or girlfriend, here are 10 Christmas themed sex toys you can’t un-see.

Which of these Christmas sex toys is your favorite? What did we forget? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.

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