7 Things You Need To Do If You’ve Never Been Kissed

One of my earliest articles here at Gurl was about how I had never been kissed. I was 22-years-old and totally devoid of any real romantic contact with another human being; I’d never even been on a date! I didn’t really care that much, at least not in the sense of being super upset about it or feeling sorry for myself. But I definitely was at a point in my life where I was like, hm, yeah, I really wouldn’t mind getting in on this kissing stuff.

While my first kiss at 23-years-old (with a total stranger who I never saw again, mind you) probably wasn’t what I had in mind, I didn’t regret it, and a few months later I started dating my current boyfriend, so needless to say that I’ve been getting a healthy amount of mouth to mouth action since. But I think that there are a lot of misconceptions about kissing, what kissing means, and more that a lot of the never been kissed crowd buy into. So, as somebody who had a hell of a lot of experience with all of that, I’m here to let you in on the seven things you actually need to do if you’ve never been kissed.

Get Rid Of The Myth That It's Going To Be A Moment You Treasure Forever

Listen, if you really think that your first kiss is going to be some magical moment, then it's time for a reality check: It probably won't be. Sure, if you kiss somebody you really like you might feel like you have an entire colony of butterflies chillin' in your stomach, but chances are that a first kiss even with your crush, BF/GF, or whoever, might not exactly meet your magical expectations or make your leg pop. And guess what: That's okay! You'll always remember your first kiss, but you never want your first kiss to be the best kiss anyway.

But I'm A Cheerleader

Ask Yourself Why You Really Haven't Kissed Anyone Yet

I think that a lot of us, especially those of us who are late bloomers in the romance department, have a hard time seeing ourselves as sexually or romantically desirable people who are worthy of even making out with. I definitely felt like this for a while until I really thought about it. Like, out of all the people out there who are regularly macking on people, what makes you some sort of monster who isn't worth kissing? You're cute af no matter how much you deny it to yourself, and there's somebody out there who also thinks you're cute af. Don't sell yourself so short, this gets you nowhere.


Banish The Idea That Your First Kiss Has To Be With Someone Special

As I said, my first kiss was with a guy I had just met. We talked, made out for a bit, exchanged numbers, texted for a lil' bit, and then we never saw each other again. Guess what? That was...totally fine. Even if you end up kissing somebody you'll end up seeing nearly every day at school, they don't have to be the love of your life or even your crush. Sometimes you just want to kiss somebody because they're cute and you're in the mood and feeling curious. Ain't a damn thing wrong with that, and anyone who tells you otherwise is absolutely ridiculous.

Bob's Burgers

If You Want To Just Get Your First Kiss Over With, Get Sneaky

On a mission to just get your first kiss over with? Well, if you and your friends are at a party, why not suggest a kissing game like spin the bottle or suck and blow (the latter of which you might have seen in Clueless)? Or, you can ask a friend of yours to kiss you so you can see how it feels. I know, it's an awkward request, but you might be surprised by who will oblige you.

BTW, you're not weird or "promiscuous" or anything for going this route for your first kiss approach.

My Mad Fat Diary

Be Prepared For Potential Weirdness

You've probably heard this a billion times, but first kisses are awkward, and it's the truth. Even a surprisingly good first kiss is often a little too wet or something and you're left wondering what you should do with your tongue or just how exactly you're supposed to breathe. If you go into any potential first kiss situation thinking you're somehow going to beat the odds of an awkward tongue tussle, forget it. This is one of those situations when it would actually behoove you to keep your expectations pretty load. Hey, I'm just keeping it real for you.

Fresh Meat

Be A Little More Willing To Put Yourself Out There

Honestly, after I finally got my first kiss out of the way, I was wondering why the hell I didn't just do it sooner! It was fun and painless, and I'm sure there were plenty of other dudes out there during many given opportunities who wouldn't have minded a smooch from lil' old me. So whether you're on a mission to get your first kiss or you're pretty indifferent to the whole affair, it never hurts to be willing to put yourself out there a little more. What do I mean by that? I mean to put yourself in situations in which you can be social. That also means not being afraid to be a little bit flirty if you're talking to somebody cute or interesting (subtle touches and compliments go a long way). I wouldn't have gotten my first kiss by just sitting in my room and crossing my fingers, and you can't either. Sure, there are situations in which the kiss will just come to you, but there are others that might require you to be a little more forward.

Cry Baby

Remember That You're A Lot Less Alone Than You Think

I didn't get my first kiss until I was 23-years-old. People were shocked when I told them, too. Sure, my situation is probably a little rare, but it's not unheard of! People just don't talk about their lack of experience because we're socialized to feel a little embarrassed about it. If you feel self-conscious about not having kissed somebody yet while your friends are regularly hooking up, please try not to feel like some sort of freak. Your kissing stats don't reflect you as a person, and as fun as kissing is, it's also...really not a big deal. It happens when it happens, and that's that.

Never Been Kissed

Have you never been kissed? Is that a conscious decision you’ve made to make sure your first kiss is with somebody special or has it just not happened yet? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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