Christmas carols are awesome. They’re usually upbeat, they’re catchy, and they’re pretty much guaranteed to lift people’s spirits. So, whenever we hear popular holiday classics like “Jingle Bells,” “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” or “Let It Snow,” it’s hard not to feel festive and sing along.
But as much as we might enjoy the chiming bells and the beautiful melodies, you have to admit that some of the lyrics in these carols actually sound kind of dirty. I mean, take “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” If you really listen to the lyrics, it almost sounds like a little kid admitting that they spied on their mom while she was about to go at it with Santa. I know, I know. It sounds so disturbing and messed up. And just imagining that scenario probably ruined your childhood a little bit (sorry!) But the reality is, a lot of the holiday carols we grew up on may not be as innocent as they sound.
Check out these 10 popular Christmas carols with naughty lyrics that will change how you think of your favorite holiday classics.
1. Sleigh Ride
Lyrics: “Our cheeks are nice and rosy, and comfy cozy are we. We’re snuggled up together, like two birds of a feather would be.”
Is it just me, or does this sound like something a super cuddly couple would say in bed, right after they’ve had sex?
2. Santa Baby
Lyrics: “Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree for me. Been an awful good girl, Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight.”
If you’ve ever heard this Christmas song, then you already know that the singer usually sounds like a sultry, sexy woman who wants way more than just a few luxury items under her tree. I mean, it almost sounds like she’s… Well, horny.
3. Let It Snow
Lyrics: “Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. And since we’ve no place to go, let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
Well, if more snow means that you can stay in with the bae for a while, then of course, more snow is actually a good thing. Right? *wink wink*
4. Baby, It’s Cold Outside
Lyrics: “My mother will start to worry (beautiful, what’s your hurry?), father will be pacing the floor (listen to the fireplace roar), so really I’d better scurry (Beautiful, please don’t hurry), maybe just a half a drink more (put some records on while I pour).”
This is literally the musical version of “Netflix and chill.” I mean, your significant other is actually going out of their way to make you stay in, and they’re using the weather as an excuse.
5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Lyrics: “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn’t see me creep down the stairs to have a peep.”
Okay, I know that this song is supposed to be adorable and everything, but this kind of sounds like a curious kid describing how they accidentally caught their parents getting busy. I mean seriously, who knows what all that kissing could have led to while the kid was peeking?
6. Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree
Lyrics: “Rocking around the Christmas Tree at the Christmas party hop, mistletoe hung where you can see ev’ry couple tries to stop.”
Well of course, every couple will be stopping underneath the mistletoe to get their make-out sessions in. And things could get quite steamy after a kiss.
7. It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Lyrics: “There’ll be much mistletoeing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near.”
As we’ve just established, “mistletoeing” is basically a euphemism for “heavy make-out sessions.”
8. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Lyrics: “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.”
This isn’t as naughty as it is creepy. Because if you really listen to these lyrics, it sounds like Santa is being a weirdly overprotective stalker. Yikes!
9. Mr. Grinch
Lyric: “You’re a bad banana.”
Weirdly enough, this phrase kind of sounds like dirty talk. I mean, do I even need to mention what the “bad banana” might be referring to?
10. Frosty the Snowman
Lyrics: “Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, thump, look at Frosty go!”
This actually sounds like something an excited person would yell while they’re watching porn.
Were you surprised by the Christmas carols on this list? What other holiday songs do you think have naughty lyrics in them? Tell us in the comments below!