When you’re a teenager (and beyond), there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single. I’ve found that most people are single throughout the majority of high school–plus, it gives you more time to do things with your friends and figure out what you actually like to do as opposed to just hanging out with one person.
Being single only becomes an issue, really, if you realize that you are the only person in your friend group who is single. Like, literally–everyone else has paired off, and you’re just alone. Not forever, probably, but in that moment it feels like you might as well be. This is a particularly “dangerous” (relative term) situation to be in because it can potentially lead to what I like to call being the “designated single” of a friendship group.
Being a designated single is kind of like being The Duff (which, full disclosure, I have neither seen nor read, but have heard enough about to know that it is not actually a very good thing to be) in that your role in your friendship group is to be single. And stay single. It’s a little less cruel than the concept of a “DUFF”–you know, “designated ugly fat friend”–because your friends probably don’t realize that they’re doing it.They’re just aware, either consciously or unconsciously, that your single-ness is a boon to them, and do what they can to maintain it. Could this be you? Here are the signs that, whether you (or your friends) aware of it or not, you’re actually the designated single of your friend group:
1. You’re the go-to person for relationship advice:
Why are they asking you? You aren’t dating anyone? And yet…
2. You’re always the couple photographer at school dances:
You’ve gotten so great at capturing just the right moment.
3. If your friend needs to lie to her parents about hanging out with her boo, you’re always the person they say they’re spending the night with:
Sometimes without your knowledge.
4. They basically expect that you’ll be there to hang out with them and their S.O.s:
On one hand, inclusion is nice. On the other, they literally never suspect that you might have something else going on
5. Like, they literally DGAF about PDA:
You’re pretty used to it at this point.
6. Sometimes, though, they’ll all go out together for a couple’s night, assuming you won’t care about your lack of inclusion because you’re single:
You’ll get a lot of Snapchats, though!
7. If there’s a fight between a friend and their bae, you’re the one to turn to with complaints about how sucky guys are:
You’re a little tired of it at this point.
8. Because you’ll definitely understand. Because you are single:
That much is clear to you.
9. You’re also the shoulder to cry on when there’s a breakup:
You shoulder is pretty much always wet at this point.
10. Your family knows about all of your friends’ relationships, but have just stopped asking you about yours:
11. Your friends like to say things like, “I know you’d be such a great girlfriend because you’re such a great friend:”
And you know it’s true.
Are you the “designated single” of your friend group? Do you mind? Let us know in the comments!