I’ve been single for a while and, for the most part, I’m actually pretty into it. Not being betrothed means that I never have to share my snacks, for example. My life is essentially guaranteed to be breakup-free until the next time I’m in a relationship. And, potentially, best of all, my legs are free to shave or leave unshorn as I please. The list goes on (no, really, it does.)
I’d be a fraud, however, if I were to say that being single is 100% amazing all the time. I mean, of course it isn’t–that’s why dating apps like Tinder (which should never have seen the light of day) do so well–people don’t want to be alone forever, and it makes sense–there are some things that go along with single hood that are
I mean, whatever. Life’s not perfect–it never will be–and it’s not that any of the downsides of being single are, like, earth-shatteringly, heartrendingly terrible. It’s just that the culmination of them can build up enough to leave any girl feeling more “I’m So Blue” than “Single Ladies.” If you’ve just been dying to know, let this single girl tell you the absolute worst parts about being single that no one else will tell you:
1. Holidays are a SMIDGE depressing:
And by “smidge” I mean “opposite of smidge.” One of the oldest cliches in the book is that the holiday season is hard on single people, but the fault with cliches lies in the fact that they’re overused–not that they’re wrong. As such, it is definitely true that the holidays can be exceptionally lonely for single people. (The good part? You don’t have to stress about finding the perfect, meaningful gift that also won’t drain your bank account.)
2. You find yourself in fake relationships a lot:
Not fake as in you’re actually pretending to be in a relationship (though, maybe you are–I don’t know your life). I mean those confusing “talking”/hookup/friends with benefits situations run that freaking RAMPANT in every single girl’s life. It can be fun, sometimes–especially if you aren’t really looking for anyone to date–but it mostly just ends up being exhausting.
3. People always ask you why you’re single:
4. Or when you’re going to get a boyfriend:
5. When they’re not asking you why you aren’t dating anyone, they’re pitying you for being single:
Sometimes, people get so sad about it–“it” being the fact that you’re single–and tell you that you’ll “find the one when it’s right” and “don’t worry–this’ll be over soon enough.? Obviously, being single isn’t always fun, but it’s not the same as having, like malaria. It’ll be fine. No care package needed. It’s dealing with the people who think you’re abut to die from chronic single-ness that gets aggravating.
6. You miss your exes a lot more:
Being single often makes it seem like, hey, maybe you should pull a Drake and text your ex. Just to see how they’re doing. It can’t hurt, right? (It can hurt.)
7. You often find yourself relating to an old meme:
Like, relating on a scary level. You never thought you’d find a friend in a dusty prune called “forever alone,” but the face just speaks to you. You can’t help it.
8. There’s no guaranteed person to hook up with:
I mean, duh. One of the perks of being in a relationship is always having someone around to cuddle, make out with, Netflix n chill, etc, etc (you know, given their consent and all that). When you’re single, it’s not that easy.
9. There’s no one to do those weird date ideas that you want to do:
I mean, sure, there are very few date activities (movies, picnics, road trips, etc.) that are not just as good–if not better–as a BFF date instead of a romantic one. But sometimes, you just want to do a cliche date thing with someone that you really, really like. And you can’t. BUMMER.
10. You spend a lot of time third-wheeling on dates:
If your friends have baes and you don’t, chances are, you’ve third-wheeled on more than a few of their dates. Eventually, the novelty wears off.
11. Friends always come to you for relationship advice:
This makes no sense because, like, you’re single and maybe not the best source of relationship advice? But something about being single seem to make one much more attractive as a venting board. Obviously, listening to your friends’ problems and giving relationship advice isn’t inherently life-ruining. But after a while it does just kind of get to you, you know?
12. The haunting thought that you might actually be alone forever:
Morbid! Irrational! But you can’t help but think it.
Still, though, there’s no reason to be sad for too long. After all, there’s always pizza:
pizza won't divorce you pizza won't betray you pizza won't cheat on you pizza won't fight with you why don't people just marry pizza
— 9GAG (@9GAG) October 11, 2015
Are you single? What would you say are the best and worst parts of being single? Let us know in the comments below!