Ask A Guy: What To Do If Your Guy Won’t Go As Far As You Want

Hey Joel,

I’m a sophomore in high school. I’ve been hooking up with this guy for a while, but he refuses to do anything more than kiss. Is there something wrong with me?

what's wrong with me
Woah there, young lady–what’s the rush to get in the bedroom? Before we even get into why he might be stalling things out at just kissing, let’s address your raging hormones.

Most importantly, know that there is nothing wrong with the feelings you have and what you want to do with this guy, but I would really take your time before jumping his bones for a number of reasons.

First off, you’ve heard it a million times, but it’s true: the more of a relationship you have with someone, the better all the physical stuff gets. Trust me! Give things time to run their natural course, and it will be worth it in the end.

Secondly, since you’re still in high school, people love to hand out terrible nicknames and word does get around. It’s not that you should feel ashamed of your feelings, but if you’re too forward and he’s not into it, things might burn you in the end.

Insofar as what might be wrong with you that’s keeping him taking things further, the answer is absolutely nothing is wrong with you. If he wasn’t into you, he probably wouldn’t want to make out with you in the first place. Realistically, the reasoning has to do with him and only him.

Remember that guys mature at a slower rate than girls, and especially since you’re still in high school, this is a very likely cause of why he’s not comfortable taking things to the next level. He may not be ready to do those things, or may not want to do them with someone he’s not in a relationship with. Pressuring him into that is about as bad an idea as there is, and the best move is to just talk to him about it if you’re that bothered.

Now, if you’re just hooking up with a guy as opposed to dating him, then I guess you just need to move on to a different hookup guy.

In the end, take things slow, especially while you’re still in high school. There is PLENTY of time to fool around with guys, so enjoy it for what it is, and know that the deeper the relationship, the more rewarding the–well, everything!

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

Ask A Guy: What’s Really Making Guys Not Want To Date You

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