My mom likes to tell me that, sometimes, I can be a little too hard on guys. It’s probably true–one time, I broke up with someone because he said The Catcher In The Rye was his favorite book.
So, sure, maybe I’m overly picky. There is one thing that I simply cannot and will not ever abide, however tolerant of males I one day become, and that is the ever-spreading epidemic of the pointless text message. Or, as I like to call them, “wastes of blue space.”
You know what I’m talking about. It’s when a guy texts you, but says absolutely nothing. I mean, they’re saying something (you cannot actually send an empty text; I’ve tried), but it has no actual substance whatsoever. Like, they say “hey,” so you say “hey, what’s up?” and they say “Just finishing up some work” (without punctuation or asking what you’re doing, hmmm), so you say, “Cool! I’m doing work too!”
Then, they just send you a frog emoji.
K. Cool. But what, in the words of Justin Bieber (who, now that I think about it, is probably a terrible texter, too) does it mean? Here’s what it could mean–maybe–if a guy texts you, but doesn’t really say anything at all:
1. They like you, but they’re terrible at texting:
Some people are just terrible at texting. In these situations, you need to wait it out–can you really handle a bad texter? If so, great. If not, well, maybe you guys can just, like, not text. It might be the only compromise.
2. They REALLY like you–but, for them, making the effort to text you is hard enough:
As such, they chicken out a little (a lot) when you finally respond, and kinda forget how to not have a texting conversation that isn’t completely one-sided. In this case, you should talk to them IRL more, so they’re more relaxed about talking to you via text.
3. He has NO idea what to say:
Look, some guys are just clueless. They know they want to talk to you–they just don’t know what to say. They text “hey” and then are at a loss. It happens, sure, but it doesn’t mean that you just take it lying down. In this case, I’d say to bring up things that you know they really like (and that you like, too–no need to initiate a conversation that’s going to be super boring for you). Hopefully, this will help them to open up more.
4. He’s shy and awkward:
Do you ever have those moments IRL when you’re talking to someone that you like and, despite knowing that they really do want to talk to you, you just can’t get comfortable? You keep fidgeting and freaking out internally and not actually hearing what they’re saying (because of said fidgeting and internal freakouts). It happens to us all–and, sometimes, it happens to people over text, too. For this, I’d do the same as the above–bring up something that you know you’re both comfortable talking about
5. They aren’t sure how they feel about you and want to test it out:
Ugh. Sometimes, pointless texts just mean that the guy is just trying to figure out how he feels about you. This is great for him, but can cause a lot of emotional distress, especially if his eventual decision is, “Nah, not that into it.”
6. They text literally every girl in their phone:
In this case, the reason their texts are so bad isn’t from lack of skill–it’s from over-exertion. This guy could be texting, like, literally every single girl in his phone, just to see their response and keep his options open. If this is the case, just don’t text back. It’s better in the long run.
7. They just see you as a friend:
For whatever reason, they see this– “this” being a texting convo where they expect you to do everything– as conversation. It’s aggravating, but harmless overall. If you also just see him as a friend, great. You can tolerate his texts. If you’d like something more, I wouldn’t seek it out over text–it doesn’t look like there’s much there.
As you can see, there isn’t exactly one straight-up answer here. My advice? Don’t respond to their texts with aggressive nonchalance, as would be most of our first instincts (He doesn’t care? I’ll show him just how much more I don’t care!!!). Instead, ask him straight-up why he’s texting you. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be an all-out interrogation (Why are you texting me and WHAT DO YOU WANT???), but, rather, a polite inquiry. If it’s been a while since you last talked, you can ask what inspired them to text all of a sudden. If it hasn’t been a while–and pointless texts are something that they send all the time–you can just say that you’re kinda wondering what the heck is up.
It can be scary, but a risky text is preferable to hours spent pondering the meaning of battery-draining, eventually fruitless texts, is it not?
Do guys ever send you totally pointless texts? What do you think it means? Let us know in the comments!