Ask A Guy: What’s Really Making Guys Not Want To Date You

Hi Joel, Guys always say that I’m “cute”—like, almost every guy I’ve ever talked to—but none of them ever want to date me. How do I lose this “cute” rep?im-cute

 Why would you want to lose or change something that is a key part of who you are? Whether it’s how you look, something you’re good at, or a part of your personality, you should always be proud of exactly who and what you are. If other people can’t handle it, that’s their problem, not yours (unless you’re a jerk–in which case, stop being a jerk!).

I don’t for one second buy the “I am too hot and guys are intimidated by me” excuse that you hear all across the internet. If no guy has the confidence to ask you out, then trust me, these are not guys worth dating. I get that it sucks to be single, but it’s a far better option when compared to dating some wishy-washy guy who isn’t your equal.

If “every guy” you talk to says you’re cute, and none of them ever ask you out, it may not be so much about losing your current “cute” rep as it is ditching some other aspect that may be turning guys away. Often times, when we are told the same thing over and over about ourselves, we give off an air of annoyance when we hear it coming again. That is to say, you likely know when a guy is about to call you cute, and you may be giving off some body language that they are misinterpreting.

Then again, you just might be in the wrong dating pool, and all the guys you talk to are complete idiots. I know it sounds silly, but especially if you’re still in high school, the right type of guy might just not be around. As you get older, more guys will want to appreciate you and date you, and not settling now will totally be worth the wait later.

As always, be proud of everything that you are, and know that the self-confidence you show is the key to attracting the perfect guy!

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

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