There are lots of things in this world in which you realize, upon their occurrence, the expectation totally outweighs the reward. School dances, for example, or eating at that cool new restaurant that everyone is obsessed with and has a three month wait to get into. You know what else is like that? Your first kiss. You spend what feels like an eternity thinking about it, planning it out, and generally meditating on how amazing it’s going to be, but when it finally happens, it…leaves a lot to be desired.
Wanna know what, exactly, could happen? Check out this list. I mean, I’m not totally confirming anything. And, like, I’m not saying that any of this has happened to me, personally. I’m just saying that this stuff could happen. Maybe. Whatever. Stop looking at me!
Have any of these things ever happened to you? Did I forget about any potentially super-awk moments? Let us know in the comments!
1. You might get a little aggressive with your tongue:
2. Your partner, on the other hand, could be the one with the particularly probing tongue:
3. You could forget to breathe:
You don’t know what you’re forgetting. Until you faint.
4. Or forget that breathing through your nose is vital and accidentally hard-core mouth breathe:
5. Maybe you’ll neglect to do anything with your hands and just stand there:
Like a stick.
6. Perhaps you’ll accidentally laugh in the middle of everything:
HAHAHAHAI’m sorry I don’t know why I’m laughingHAHAHAHA
7. It could be that you realize the awkwardness of everything and try to combat it with an ill-timed joke:
Never goes quite as planned.
8. You could, potentially, close your eyes too soon.
9. Which could mean that you, uh, miss:
The mouth, that is.
10. It’s possible that you’ll open your eyes too soon:
In the words of one Bruno Mars, “Kept your eyes wide open/ Why were they open?”
11. Maybe you’ll revisit your Kindergarten biting problem:
Ah, how quickly a little nibble can turn into an ill-fated, big-ass chomp!
12. You could realize, mid-kiss, that you don’t actually want to be kissing the person you are kissing.
And exit with a smooth save like I’M LATE GOTTAGOBYE. What, exactly, are you late for? Who knows!
13. All the same, you’ll probably realize the good news, eventually.
No one is perfect at kissing their first time, and whoever you’re kissing probs won’t even notice. So don’t sweat it.
Have you had your first kiss yet? If so, did any of this happen to you? (It may or may not have, for me.) Let us know in the comments!