7 Of The Most Effed Up Vintage Sex Laws You Won’t Believe Existed

We can all agree that the past, in general, kind of sucked, right? That’s not to say that everything is some sort of fine and dandy utopia now, because it’s not. But the fact that many of us we have sewer systems and can vote isn’t so bad. Still, I think we tend to forget that a lot of things that we can now deemed as effed up didn’t really happen all that long ago. In fact, when it comes to laws in the United States alone, we have had some of the most disturbing and bizarre ones around just in the last 50 years or so.

This is particularly obvious in the realm of sex laws. I mean, some states still have some stupid sex laws in place–you can have sex with a fish in Minnesota and get arrested for owning a dildo in Alabama–but some of the worst are already defunct. What’s scary is that even defunct laws that allowed someone to rape their spouse was totally legal until not so long ago. Here are seven weird vintage sex laws that we should all be glad are no longer the rules of the land.

Adultery Could Get You Thrown In Jail

Until recently, it was against the law in New Hampshire to cheat on your spouse. Yeah, seriously, this was an illegal activity until 2014. I mean, we can all agree that adultery isn't a good thing, but t be thrown in jail for making out with somebody who isn't your husband or wife? Seems a bit excessive.

Dazed and Confused

Sodomy (Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Etc) Could Get You In Big Trouble

Most states no longer have sodomy laws in place. Sodomy, by the way, is a catchall term for indecent sex...because apparently the only appropriate sex to have is missionary between someone with a penis and someone with a vagina. But yeah, sodomy includes oral sex and anal sex. Could you imagine how much more overcrowded our prisons would be if anyone who partook in those sex acts got locked up for it?


Black Folks And White Folks Having Sex Was Illegal

Until the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional in 1967, it was illegal for black people and white people to get married. In fact, the Lovings faced up to a year in prison for doing just that. This coincided with other anti-miscegenation laws in the south, which made it illegal for black people and white people to even have sex.


Having Sex With A Porcupine Was Made Illegal

So, it used to be legal to have sex with a porcupine in Florida. Well, not anymore. I just...I have nothing.


Same-Sex Marriage Was Against The Law In Most States

Well, this will someday be a weird vintage law! As most of us know, as of June 2015, gay marriage is legal throughout the United States. Before, only a few states would allow the practice, but now it's against the law to deny gay people a marriage license. Of course, some folks are still trying to prevent gay couples from exercising their rights, but let's hope that becomes a nasty footnote of history sooner rather than later.


Sexual Harassment Was A-OK

This might not seem as weird as race-based sex laws, but imagine living in a world where it was totally legal for your boss to feel you up. Yeah, that was a reality until 1971, when sexual harassment laws were passed in the United States. Phewf.


Your Husband Was Allowed To Rape You

THIS WAS ALLOWED UNTIL 1991, Y'ALL. 1991. So in 1990, your husband could demand that you have sex with him, and it wouldn't be against the law for him to force himself upon you because people legit thought that non-consentual sex between husband and wife even existed. SMDH.


Which of these sex laws is the most disturbing to you? Which are you surprised to find out were laws in the first place? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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