Being shy can be pretty difficult. In a world where people reward you for being outgoing and talkative, and look at you weirdly for being quiet and more reserved, it can make things pretty socially awkward. As a shy girl, I know it can be hard enough to express positive feelings when I’m around people I’m uncomfortable with – but expressing negative emotions like anger or hurt feelings? It’s nearly impossible, even with close friends.
I’ve been shy my whole life and have only recently started opening up to people. Even though I’m getting better at social interactions with strangers and I’m learning to speak my mind, I still have a really hard time dealing with anger. Being shy makes it hard for me to tell someone off or to come clean to a friend when she’s done something to make me mad. I’ve learned to hide my feelings and stay quiet rather than speak up and confront someone, because things are just easier that way.
Except they’re not. While I get to avoid the dreaded confrontation or argument, I then have to deal with unresolved feelings that stress me out a lot. I know that so many other shy girls out there do the same thing when they’re feeling pissed off. I would say we need to stop, but we know it’s not that easy. Here are 16 things all shy girls do when they’re angry:
1. You sit there silently, filled with anger and rage, acting like everything is okay.
But people close to you can tell when it’s not okay, because you get EXTRA quiet.
2. You say you’re “fine” when asked if you’re okay.
“What? That steam coming out of my ears is normal! Totally fine! FINE!!!”
3. You imagine all of the things you WANT to say.
Ugh. Think about how epic it would be if you said them.
4. You ask people you feel comfortable with if you should say something.
All the while knowing there is a very good chance you won’t say anything.
5. You imagine making a huge dramatic scene but would actually never do that.
6. You spend a very long time building yourself up to say something.
7. You maybe say something, but end up stuttering or getting cut off.
You had ONE chance to say the sassy thing.
8. And if you say something, you blush. A lot.
And you want it to stop but you can’t.
9. You might even start crying from feeling so angry.
THIS IS THE WORST. You just want to be taken seriously, but you’re crying.
10. You think of the perfect comeback hours later, and consider whether or not to actually use it.
11. You vent for hours to someone you’re comfortable with.
Or to everyone you’re comfortable with, depending on how angry you are.
12. You might choose to say something through a screen rather than face-to-face.
It’s so much easier to fight over the phone or Internet.
13. You wonder if you’re overreacting and question yourself.
14. Or you decide not to say anything and just try to forget about it.
15. Except you don’t and maybe you act a little passive-aggressive.
16. You hold everything in until one day you explode.
Are you shy? Do you do these things when you’re angry? What did we forget? Tell us in the comments!