Ask A Guy: Find Out What’s Making You Undateable

iStock_000010700847_MediumHi Joel,

Are there any major turnoffs for all guys? AKA is there anything that can make me totally undateable? 

Since you were young, you’ve been taught that one of the greatest things about people is that each and every one of us is different in our own special way, right? Rarely is a cheesy, grade-school sentiment more spot-on then when it comes to what gets your motor running, or in this case, what makes your car slam into reverse and speed off!

From hair color to height, from musical taste to mouth shape, from hobbies to habits, there is no standard for what guys are going to like, and conversely, what they’re going to hate. This is the main reason you should always be unapologetically yourself, as being uniquely you is what will help you find a guy who will make you truly happy.

That being said, there are obviously a few things that pretty much anyone won’t like. Dishonesty, rudeness, closed-mindedness–the classic ways of not having many people like you very much. Unless you’re looking to date a total jerk, don’t be a jerk. This may seem basic, but you’d be surprised how many people think that you need to put out some sort of attitude to attract a guy.

If you’re not a jerk, do your best to stay true to yourself, and are still having trouble finding guys to date, it may just be that the location you’re in doesn’t work for your style. This is especially true in high school, as the dating pool is extremely limited, and too many people spend time trying to be someone they’re not. Once you get into college and/or the working world, there will be so many more options, and you’ll find a guy who really digs you for you.

In short, we’re all different, and it is often the quirks and passions someone has that makes them irresistible to their true soul mate. So be proud of who you are, and know that the perfect guy will come into your world–but sometimes you’re just not in the right part of the world yet!

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

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  • Mistie Breeze

    Sadly, I’d say this isn’t true. I’ve been told I’m warm, sweet, shy, cute (some guys called me hot) only to end up being approached by only mean, jekyll/hide, controlling types. They always underestimate my demeanor for push-over/naive. I figure them out pretty quickly by their controlling, mean natures. If what you say is true, I’d be attracting warm, cute, nice guys. Not happening.