Does Watching Porn Actually Make You Gross?

Hey Heather,

I just started reading the site and it looks like it will help me out a lot. I’m 14 and a girl, of course. One day, I had this odd urge to watch porn, so I did. Anyway, turns out it’s awesome. I watch it and masturbate kind of a lot. But I noticed my other girl friends don’t talk about watching it. Does watching porn make me gross? Is there something wrong with what I’m doing?

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Real talk: it can be hard to be a girl who watches and loves porn and masturbation. We live in a society where young men are encouraged to watch porn, even made fun of if they aren’t that into it, but where young women are often slut-shamed and looked down upon for enjoying the same exact videos. It’s frustrating and unfair, and it stems from the same idea that women couldn’t possibly like sex as much as men do.

Fortunately, that idea is not true. And no matter what anyone says or makes you feel like, it’s totally fine for you to watch and like pornography. Watching porn doesn’t mean you’re gross! It just means that you’re exploring your sexuality and satisfying your sexual urges. You’re not doing it in an unsafe way, you’re not forcing anyone to do it with you, and it’s making you happy. You aren’t doing anything wrong.

It’s true that a lot of girls won’t talk about or admit to watching porn. That’s because, like I said before, our society deems it more acceptable for males to do that than females. A lot of girls do watch porn – in fact, many of your friends might – they just don’t talk about it. And that’s okay. Masturbation and sexual urges are a very private thing to some people, and they feel embarrassed to discuss it with others, even close friends. So, just because people aren’t talking about it doesn’t mean you’re the only one doing it.

The bottom line is that you should never feel ashamed about watching porn if it’s something you enjoy. There are a lot of people out there who believe that pornography is damaging to self-esteem and contributes to sexism and even sexual violence. The jury is out on whether those people are right or wrong, but I believe that someone’s opinion on pornography is private and not anyone else’s business. So, if you like watching porn, watch it! Own your sexuality – it’s not gross.

take care,
Heather

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