Hi Joel,This guy and I were best friends. One day, he came over and we started kissing. I didn’t really like him so I told him so and now things are weird. What should I do? I just want to be best friends again.
There is a razor thin line between friends and more-than-friends, and sadly, once you cross it there is almost never any way of getting back. Even if it was just a bit of making out, it instantly redefined things between the two of you, and when you told him you didn’t like him like that, it pushed things even further from what they once were.
That being said, you were 110% right to tell him you weren’t into him like that, and while things will never be like before, the awkwardness and weirdness will fade over time. It may take a number of months for things to get to a point where you can just hang out like before, but trust me that it will eventually happen.
The reality is, if you knew you didn’t like him, you should have stopped things before they happened. I know that it’s easy to get caught up in the moment, but if it’s someone you had zero interest in beyond friendship, you needed to be clearer about that reality.
You can help speed up the healing process by having an open, honest conversation with him, and reinforce that his friendship means a lot to you and isn’t something you want to lose. He may take some time to come around to things, as chances are he’s a bit embarrassed and frustrated, but if you really want to make the friendship work, patience is your best ally.
It’s situations like this that show just how vital clear communication is in any type of relationship. When signals get crossed or “things happen,” it can have long lasting, disastrous consequences.
Basically, unless you want to make your boy who is a friend into your boyfriend, it’s best to make out with someone else.
Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.
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