Almost nothing is as magical as when you meet someone you like, and you think they like you two, and you guys start talking and hanging out. There’s so much to be happy about. Between flirting in the hallway, texting cute/sexy messages, liking each other’s Instagram photos, sending Snapchats, and maybe even hooking up, everything is so beyond awesome. It seems to be going well, you start to think maybe things could get serious, and then… poof! They disappear.
This phenomena of boys and girls who seemingly vanish into thin air has been coined “ghosting.” In today’s era of communication via mobile device and social media rather than face-to-face, it’s even easier to fade out of someone’s life without a word. It’s never fun to realize you’ve been ghosted by someone you like, but sometimes there are legitimate reasons for it. Sometimes, not so much. Wondering why your crush ghosted you? Here are 10 possible reasons:
1. They’re busy
This might sound like an easy excuse, but it could just as easily be true. Between juggling school, sports, clubs, homework, and spending time with family and friends, your object of affection might not have time for a relationship. Of course, if they tell you they’re too busy to hang out on Friday night and you see them at the movies with someone else, it’s a lie. But they might actually just be at home babysitting their little sister. Still, a text about being busy is courteous.
2. They’re nervous about getting into a relationship
Maybe they got burned by their last significant other and are worried about getting hurt again. Perhaps they’ve never had a significant other and don’t know how to be in a relationship, so they’re too scared to move forward. Sometimes when people are scared, they do stupid things, and their fear may have caused them to ignore you rather than be honest about what’s going on. It sucks, but at least you know early on they’re not ready for anything serious!
3. They aren’t ready to commit
Getting into a relationship is a big step. Maybe they’re just not ready for it. Rather than facing these issues and owning up to you, they might have thought it’d be easier to stop interacting all together. That’s incorrect, but it’s also a big sign of immaturity – something you don’t need to deal with.
4. They met someone else
While it’s not a fun reason, it is possible that your crush was also someone else’s crush, and that person made it happen. In this case, let it go – it’s never a good idea to actively pursue someone who’s happy with someone else. You wouldn’t want someone else macking on your bae behind your back, right? So play it straight – but if they break up, it’s all you!
5. They’re just awkward
Some people aren’t familiar with the modern day playing field. They might feel awkward initiating conversation, texting you Emojis, or sitting next to you at a football game. It’s not you – they just feel uncomfortable flirting, so they quit talking to avoid the situation.
6. They’re just plain rude
Let’s face it, sometimes people are just jerks. They might be stringing you along for their own entertainment, and once they’re distracted by something else, they disappear. Or maybe they were genuinely interested at some point, but didn’t have the courtesy to let you know when something changed. Either way, if they don’t think you deserve their time, then they don’t deserve yours.
7. They didn’t read your signals right
While it’s likely not your fault that your crush has pulled a disappearing act, it is possible that they honestly didn’t realize you were crushing. If they had no clue, they probably didn’t realize it was a problem for them to become less available. Were you playing hard to get? Were you waiting for them to make all the moves? While you don’t have to be super aggressive, no one is a mind reader, so make sure your intentions were clear.
8. They’re focusing on the future
Maybe they have an entire plan mapped out for they way their life should go, and for whatever reason, you don’t fit into it. If they don’t see themselves with someone exactly like you, they might overlook the wonderful person that’s standing in front of them. Their loss for not being more open minded.
9. They’re embarrassed
They might not feel like the best match for you. Maybe they don’t have their driver’s license to take you to the next school function. Maybe they can’t afford a nicer date than McDonald’s right now. Maybe they can’t hang out with you at home because they’re fighting with their parents. Whatever it is, they think you deserve better, so they’re just opting out of the running so you don’t figure it out for yourself.
10. They’re just not that into you
Alas, as Gigi explains in the blatantly titled He’s Just Not That Into You, “We’re not the exception, we’re the rule.” Sometimes, when your crush ghosts you, it’s because they’re just not at the same place as you are in terms of feelings. I promise it isn’t the end of the world. There will be other crushes, and there will be ones who will like you back. You are not undesirable because one person turns Casper the not-so-friendly ghost and disappears. Don’t try to win them back—you will find someone that will make you the exception.
Which of these reasons do you disagree with? Have you been ghosted? Have you ever ghosted anyone? Tell us in the comments!