This guy was totally flirting with me, so I asked him out. He said “I’ll think about it” and then never brought it up again. What’s going on?
There aren’t many things that cause bigger problems between people than lack of clear communication. Whether you’re just getting to know someone or you’re years into a relationship, if you aren’t on the same page, tons of problems can occur. In your situation, it sounds like he was throwing you mixed signals, and when you made a move, he got scared.
With this guy, he may not have been aware that he was flirting with you to such an extent, and just thought he was being playful. It sounds a bit dumb, but guys can really be that clueless. There is a thin line between innocent fun and flirting, and when you asked him out, he may have been caught off guard and realized how you were interpreting his actions.
While that is possible, it’s far more likely that he is just a chicken when it comes to being in a relationship. Tons of guys talk a really big game, but when it comes time to actually jump in, they get scared and run for safety. This is usually due to the fact that guys mature much slower than gals, along with the fact that society doesn’t do a good job of teaching guys how to be good partners early on. This also explains why he hasn’t said anything about it since–he’s scared.
But the real question is: do you want to be with a guy who is scared or lukewarm in relation to being with you? What you should be looking for is someone who is 100% about you and jumps at the opportunity to be with you. If he hasn’t brought it up since, then he’s not worth the time and effort, as you don’t want to feel like you’re forcing him into things.
If he was your friend before, just let it be that, and find a guy who is totally into you and understands what a fantastic person you are!
Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org!