We all have that one friend who Yelps. This friend is, in most cases, pretty embarrassing, because every time they receive slightly sub-par service or food at a restaurant, they just go freakin’ ham on said restaurant’s Yelp page. “They call that a ‘Dragon Roll?'” they’ll type out, furiously. “More like a dragon roll up and die, because that’s what I wanted to do after I ate here. Zero stars!!!”
Well, for all you cyberbullies out there who want to take things to the next level, things are about to get real exciting, because you can now do this with real human people. Meet Peeple, an app with an unnervingly insouciant, cutesy name that’s set to be released later this year. Basically, its mission is to give people “ratings” on a one-to-five star basis. The real kicker is this–once someone enters your data into it you literally cannot get out.
Understandably, most people who don’t harbor dreams of becoming America’s Next Top Cyberbully–or, you know, maybe just don’t think that humans are commodities–are pretty against this app. Here are the best Twitter reactions to Peeple:
1. It’s the app that makes waking up in the morning so much harder:
#Peeple: Because everyday life should be a horrifying minefield.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) October 1, 2015
2. Essential instructions:
3. Peaking in high school does suck, admittedly:
Peeple is really designed for those special souls who spent all of high school measuring worth by popularity. — Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) October 1, 2015
so #peeple is what happens when two popular mean girls from your high school grow up & decide to make a slam book for the entire world?
— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) October 1, 2015
5. I mean, it’s not even like this is idea is original:
I really like Peeple’s skeuomorphic design. pic.twitter.com/SliPJyek05
— SecuriTay (@SwiftOnSecurity) October 1, 2015
6. HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING FROM THE PLIGHT OF CADY HERON??
Dear whoever gave Peeple five million dollars Mean Girls on dvd is like five dollars & would’ve already taught you that this is a bad idea. — Andrew Ferguson (@warandpeace) September 30, 2015
7. Lest you feel like this reaction is overblown, you might want to consider:
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 1, 2015
9. And this:
— Mia Steinberg (@MiaSteinberg) September 30, 2015
10. It’s not like we NEED MORE WAYS TO MAKE THE INTERNET MORE TOXIC:
Wait so Peeple is a forum to abuse and slander anyone on the Internet? We already have that. It’s called the Internet. — Clown in the Pantry (@talkwordy) September 30, 2015
11. I mean…
12. “You inherit five million dollars the day that aliens take over the earth and say they’re gonna blow it up in two days. What do you do?”
What was the cafeteria quiz the Heathers made everyone take in Heathers? The empathetic Peeple CEOs should have made THAT app instead.
— emily nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) October 1, 2015
13. This is probably the best part of the whole thing, though:
— Sharon O’Dea (@sharonodea) October 1, 2015
14. When your feelings get hurt because you’re a cyberbullying pioneer and no one understands your vision:
15. A very reasonable reaction, actually:
A Yelp for people? “Peeple?” … *covers Internet in angry bees* — Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2015
16. It is kinda cool when everyone on the internet simultaneously decides that they hate something:
seeing everyone on the Internet unite against the burning trash heap that is #Peeple is kind of inspiring tho
— Natalie Shure (@nataliesurely) September 30, 2015
17. A good way to think about this:
You know what gives me hope for humanity? The instinctive revulsion that is greeting the #peeple concept from so many corners.
— Alexandra(but ghost) (@alexandraerin) October 1, 2015
What do you think about Peeple? Is it really terrible, or does everyone need to chill? Let us know in the comments!