7 Reasons Why It’s Okay Not To Have A Relationship In High School

I left high school with a lot of things: lifelong friendship, outfits that make me cringe today, a pretty top notch education, and an urge to be more in tune with my identity as a black chick.

Here’s what I left high school without: A kiss, a hookup, a boyfriend.

In fact, I’m currently in my first relationship with my first boyfriend ever right now, in my early 20s. I’ll admit, sometimes I feel like I wish I had done more in the romance department in high school so that I would be better prepared for everything a relationship entails now. But, honestly, not having a boyfriend or girlfriend (or whatever gender your ideal bae would be) in high school is not the end of the world.

Seriously, it’s not. And you don’t need to listen to “Single Ladies” on repeat to believe it.

You might feel like the only girl who doesn’t have a partner, but there are a lot more of you out there than you think, and they’re not all just a bunch of undatable losers. Sometimes things happen, sometimes they don’t, and right now you might just happen to be one cool chick who is or was bae free in high school. Here are seven reasons why that’s actually not so bad.

You Don't Have To Worry About What'll Happen With Your Relationship When You Go Off To College

Listen, I know that some couples manage to continue their realtionship into college successfully. But I'm going to be real: Most don't, because they're not Cory and Topanga from Boy Meets World. Want some more reasons? Frankly, long distance relationships suck. Also, you grow more into yourself in college, and holding onto your high school self and expecting your partner to do the same is very difficult. Also, did I mention that long distance relationships suck?

But hey, without a high school relationship, you don't have to worry about all that angst. You can move on to the next stage of your life free of relationship baggage.

Boy Meets World

Less Drama, Period

Do you think that you're pretty stressed out on a somewhat regular basis, either from school or other social commitments or an overbearing parent? Yeah, so does it sound all that appealing to add a whole other element of stress into your life?

Relationship drama happens, out of misunderstandings, unanswered texts, jealousy, etc. High school is ripe with it, I mean, think about your friend group and the relationship drama some of them go through? Do you really want to deal with that on top of that AP class? Naw.


You Don't Have To Deal With As Much Immaturity

Trust me, some people don't shed off all their immaturity the second they graduate. There are plenty of people who remain immature well into their college years and beyond. But still, it's hard to beat the immaturity of high schoolers. Doesn't matter what gender you're going for, we're just not very emotionally mature when we're teenagers. That's a big reason why high school relationships can be so messy and petty.

There's no need envying that.


You're Not Alone

So many other people are in your position. It might seem like everybody is dating, but they're really not. And the people who are in relationships probably won't be in them for very long. Sad, but true. High school relationships tend to have a pretty speedy expiration date.


Your Worth Isn't Determined By Your High School Relationship Status

It's so easy to get caught up in fears that you're not datable, or that you're unattractive, or that there's something wrong with you just because you don't have a relationship. That's not the case, dude. Your worth isn't determined by how datable some dude in your chem class thinks you are.

Also, if it makes you feel any better, literally nobody GAF about your high school relationship status except for you, and maybe an annoying friend or a nosy mom. Life ya life.

Never Been Kissed

You'll Have A Blank Slate, Which Can Be Exciting

As somebody who never had a relationship in high school, it was pretty fun to finally explore the world of dating because I didn't have a relationship history following me. You're a blank slate, dude, free of high school hang ups and worries. Embrace it!

Some Girls

You Can Focus On Yourself And Other Things That Matter

It's easy for a relationship to kind of feel like it's taking over your life. This can be nice, until it feels overwhelming and you realize that you've been dedicating more of your energy to your relationship than to yourself.

Not dealing with all that crap in high school leaves you more time to focus on yourself and your interests, not to mention your friends that you would probably end up neglecting a little bit if you were in a relationship. Hey, romance comes and goes, but friendship lasts forever (if you work at it).

Ghost World

Are you baeless high schooler right now? Were you? How would you describe your experience? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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