First dates, like anything else, can be fantastic, okay, eh, or absolutely horrible. There are a lot of things that can contribute to a terrible first date, and one of those things is if the guy you’re out with says something ridiculous. Sometimes dudes only have to say one thing for you to know that there is definitely, in no way, any chance of a second date happening. Like, ever.
Trust me, I’ve been there. A few years ago, a guy took me out to dinner. Things were just okay, and I was still making up my mind about him when we got in his car so he could drive me home and he said, “Did you know I’m actually the best drunk driver ever?” This genius statement was followed up with, “Actually, I totaled my last car when I drove into a tree drunk a few months ago, but besides that, I’m really good at it.” No, we never hung out again. Yes, I deleted his number immediately.
So, in this post taken from this hilarious/sad Reddit thread, we’re not talking about silly things guys have said that are a little embarrassing or dorky. We’re talking about absurd things guys have said that are either offensive, make no sense, or may come off as a sign of craziness. Here are 15 of the worst things guys have ever said on first dates:
1. UnicornMeatTaco: “I don’t believe electricity really exists.”
Are you… what do you… wut?
2. vielco: While walking through a park at night: “it looks kinda rape-y here.” Then he preceded to tell me how he didn’t get why rape was a big deal and that he didn’t think he’d mind being raped. That was a weird walk home.
3. snapkangaroo: “I know you have pets but I really don’t like animals, so if we get serious you’ll probably need to give them away.” Wtf no.
Why would anyone do this?
4. sprinklecone: “Have you ever had a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes? I can buy you some tomorrow, if you want.” This was a first date, and the guy was trying to buy me $800 shoes to try to impress me. No.
Uh… no. You’re not for sale.
5. Clamjammy: “I’m going to jail on Thursday for 6 months, because I left the scene of an accident.” I pressed him further. Last year he hit a woman who was j-walking and he killed her, then fled the scene. In his defense, “she was just a drunk prostitute.”
There are so many things wrong with this.
6. KvetchBetch: “So, do you wax? I don’t sleep with women with natural bush, just so you know. I’ll tolerate a landing strip but nothing more.” (At this point we have been on our first date for about ten minutes.)
For some reason, I seriously doubt anyone asked his opinion.
7. albino_oompa_loompa: We were at a campus coffee shop. “Oh wow, there’s that girl from my calc class! She’s so hot!”
Why? Just. Why?
8. al_pha_bet: This one guy gave me a monologue that went on for several minutes about the role of women in his life. “When a woman asks ‘did you miss me’ it feels like I’m getting raped” and “I love my sister and my mother but I don’t respect them.” And on and on like that.
LOL RAPE. LOL no.
9. thetrishwarp: “I’m going to be an asshole to you until you prove that I shouldn’t be.” He wound up looking up my home phone number and complaining to my dad that I wouldn’t go on a second date with him. Dad won.
Why, why, why would this even happen?
10. Kemokiro: “I believe the man should call all the shots in a relationship, don’t you?” I excused myself to the bathroom, sneaked out to my car and left.
LOL. Oh, I’m sorry, is this… was that a serious statement?
11. holdmybeer87: Something along the lines of “so sex is on the table tonight right?” Actually that was as I was about to leave to meet up with him. I didn’t leave home.
Is there something actually wrong with that person, or…
12. Kaleyedoskopic: “Do your friends or family know where you are? Like, if I brought you to a warehouse, would they know?” And he seemed surprised I wouldn’t let him drive me home.
And this is when you run.
13. bear_sheriff: A friend of mine had this one when she was chilly sitting at an outdoor patio on the first (only) date: “You’re probably cold because you’re menstruating.” Um…no.
This is just sad.
14. xyxyxy_: “Oh, thank god, I was afraid you’d be fat!” upon seeing me.
And… you know what? I don’t have words.
15. kthulhu89: “You see that chick? The really hot, fit one over there? Why don’t you try harder to look like her?”
Which of these things do you think is the worst thing that was said? What’s the worst thing a guy ever said to you on a date? Tell us in the comments!
Do you think you can top this confession? Send your hook-up confessions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Don’t worry: they’re totally anonymous.