When you’re a virgin, the thought of having sex for the first time can be pretty damn intimidating. Actually, let’s replace “intimidating” with “terrifying.” Sex can seem exciting and exotic, and you might be anxious to see what it’s like… but at the same time, it’s something new and different, and you don’t really know what to expect, no matter how many people you talk to.
Combine that uncertainty with the scary first time horror stories you read in magazines and on the Internet, and you can become a seriously stressed out virgin. Sex is an event you want to be excited about – not something you should be dreading. But you know what? You’re probably worrying about things that you don’t even need to be thinking about. There are some very real concerns you should have in the back of your mind – STDs, the possibility of getting pregnant – but there are also things you need to chill about. So, here are 10 things virgins need to stop stressing about right now:
If It's Going To Be With The Right PersonEveryone has a different picture in their mind of what they want their first time to be like. Some people decide to wait for marriage, some people just want to wait for their first love, and other people don't really care that much. Whatever you choose is fine... but it shouldn't involve you stressing out about it so much. If you feel like you want to have sex with someone, and you feel like it's right, then why you should you constantly wonder, "Am I SURE this is the right person?" If it feels right for you, then do it - there doesn't have to be any other kind of pressure involved. Source: iStock
If They'll Know You're A VirginI get a lot of questions from you guys about being worried about whether or not your partner will know you're a virgin. Some of you want to hide that fact, which is fine if that's what you're more comfortable with. But there's nothing wrong with being a virgin and it shouldn't make you ashamed. Your partner might be able to guess that you are, but there's not going to be a huge sign over you saying, "VIRGIN!!" in blinking letters. Regardless, who cares if they know? iStock
If There's Going To Be BloodThanks to a whole lot of talk about hymens breaking, there are horror stories out there about the blood that happens when you have sex for the first time. I've heard obviously fake stories about so much blood happening that it got all over the people and the bed. Or that there was enough blood for the girl to think she had her period. The truth is this: if your hymen tears, then there might be a little blood. But it won't be so much that it's covering either one of you. And it's JUST blood. It's not anything weird. On the other hand, if your hymen already broke, you shouldn't bleed at all. iStock
If It Will FitYou know what happens when you spend a lot of time worrying about whether his penis will fit down there? You get stressed. And when you get stressed, you involuntarily tighten your muscles down there, which make it harder for a penis, or anything, to enter. So really, you worrying about this could be what's making it happen. The best thing you can do is relax and deal with what happens. If it doesn't fit, it's okay - just take it slow. But as long as you're relaxed and you go slowly, it will fit, barring any serious medical complications. iStock
If You're Doing It RightHonestly guys, sex is weird to explain how to do. You kind of just figure it out as you're going along. Are you going to be good at it? I don't know, but I've heard many people say one thing about sex: "Even when it's bad, it's pretty good." It's pretty hard for sex to be TERRIBLE. Just take the lead from your partner and do what feels good, and don't attempt anything insane or crazy. Keep it simple and listen to your body! iStock
What You'll look Like Down ThereYou forgot to shave? No big deal, it's just pubic hair. You're worried that one lip is bigger than the other? I seriously doubt your partner will notice or care. You're stressed about the smell? Unless you haven't showered in a few days, I bet you're fine. And if you're really worried, just clean up a bit to ease your stress. iStock
If It's Going To Be GoodSometimes sex is amazing. Sometimes it's just okay. And sometimes it's not that great. So, basically, it's like anything else in the world. Your first time might be awesome, or it might end up being pretty disappointing. Try not to put too much pressure on it to be incredible, because that will only make things harder. iStock
When It WIll happenI understand the stress about when you'll have sex for the first time - it's a big milestone to some people. But at the same time, I have a hard time understanding the obsession. Maybe you'll have sex before you leave high school, but maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be older when you lose your virginity. Does it honestly matter, though? As long as you do it when it feels right for you, does it really matter how old you are? It doesn't! iStock
How Much It HurtsThe pain during sex can be pretty scary to think about, but that's mainly because we don't know what to expect. The truth is that sex can hurt, but it should never be an incredibly painful kind of hurt. It's more like the pain of pressure, like when something hurts enough that it's annoying, but not enough to stop what you're doing completely. Does that make sense? This is also a pain that only gets better the more you do it and get used to it. So, the pain can't get better if you don't do it. And I promise, it's not that terrible! Take it slow and don't go crazy. And if it really is awful, then maybe see a gyno. iStock
What Other People Will ThinkYour sex life is personal and not for others to talk about. So please don't worry about what other people will think. Don't stress over whether your friends will judge you, or if you lose your virginity to someone "unpopular," or if you're still a virgin when no one else you know is. It's not about anyone else - it's only about you. People can and will talk about whatever they want, but that doesn't mean you have to care. iStock
Which of these things have you worried about? What did we forget to include? Tell me in the comments!