When I was in high school, I had this one recurring nightmare that I just couldn’t shake. It only happened, say, three or four times a year, but every time it did, I swore I’d never let it happen again. It was that scary.
In it, I’d be hanging out with a handful of my best friends. We’d all be dressed up, more than usual, and propelled by some unknown force, we’d traipse together into our school gym, gaily unaware of what would happen next. As soon as we walked in, the doors would slam shut behind us, leaving us in a room that was completely dark, save for the occasional throbbing of a strobe light. Vaguely identifiable music pulsed ominously in the background, while the heat–oh, the heat!–made sweat slide down my friends’ faces, ruining their makeup and rendering them wholly unrecognizable, while some other mystery condensation oozed down the walls of the gym, creating the sensation that I was, truly, in hell.
The worst part? It wasn’t a dream. It was just a school dance. This is something that many of you must still endure, even today. Now, it might not be truly a nightmare–some people do have fun at their dances, and even I’ll admit that there is a certain charm that comes with gettin’ dressed up to sweat it up–but I feel that it’s a pretty universal feeling that school dances are, uh, odd. With Homecoming dances coming up at many schools, it seemed only right to make a compilation of the 17 thoughts you have during a school dance:
1. I gotta say, I look good.
Maybe even TOO good.
2. My crush BETTER be here tonight.
3. Wait. That girl from my math class is wearing the same dress as me.
I must END HER.
4. Actually, no. I am of the understanding that we, as women, are much more than what we wear.
Instead, I shall tell her, “No, we are better than our dresses–we are what is inside our minds, rather, the very fact that we, as women feel competition in regards to dress is evidence of the patriar–…wait, where are you going?”
5. Oh, no. Mrs. Roemer is chaperoning. I still haven’t turned in that Romeo and Juliet paper.
This is WORSE than what happened at the end of Romeo and Juliet, tbh.
6. I’ll just, like, dance away from her for the entire night.
7. It’s cool, it’s cool. Just dancin’ it up with my squad.
One might even say that we “run this.”
8. MmmmOMIGOD my crush IS here.
They’re here. It’s really them.
9. Gotta be cool.
I am *~chill~*
10. Why am I so sweaty?
Homecoming dance? More like “sweat-coming-down-my-dress” dance, if you ask me!
11. Oh. I guess everyone is sweaty.
This gym is not very well-ventilated. Maybe that’s why our basketball team loses so many games.
12. But, back to my crush. What if they ask me to dance?
What if I forget how to dance?
13. Well, for them to do that, I’d probably have to make eye contact with them.
I hate these technicalities!
14. YAAASSS they’re playing “What Do You Mean?” by my man, J. Biebz.
This is the perfect song for me to dance out my existential struggle.
15. Wait, “what do you mean” (see what I did there?) that the dance is over?
I didn’t even get to dance to that song for my required seven times in a row.
16. Welp, the principal is doing the whip.
I guess it really is over.
17. So, that’s that.
Better call mom to pick me up.
Did this accurately depict your school dance experience? What was your favorite gif? Let us know in the comments below!