No matter how often we’re all encouraged to be confident in ourselves, insecurity runs rampant in human beings as a whole. We all have moments of insecurity, whether we glance in the mirror and feel like we’re not looking our hottest, get a few bad grades and start to think of ourselves as stupid and worthless, or get dumped twice in a row and wonder if we’re even lovable at all. It’s impossible to be sure of yourself 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
That said, there is a very big difference between being a healthy level of insecure and being way too insecure. Having no self-esteem will negatively affect your life in so many ways. High levels of insecure can make it hard to maintain relationships with anyone, actually achieve your potential, or do the things you truly want to do. Being too self-conscious can make you painfully shy and awkward, or it can do the opposite and make you a bragging, narcissist no one can stand to be around.
But how do you know if you’re at an okay level of insecure or if you need confidence lessons ASAP? Let’s start by going through these little signs of insecurity, taken from this Ask Reddit thread. Want to know if people view as insecure or confident? Read on!
Acting Too Nicethrowaway01000000000: Trying to be too nice, lacking opinion, and apologizing too much. There is such a thing as acting too nice! If you spend all your time apologizing, even for things that aren't your fault, and you're always agreeing with everyone because you don't want to speak up and make things possibly weird, then you're too nice. When you're too nice, you let people walk all over you. This screams insecurity.
Too Much PDA On Social MediaWhoelseisbored: When couples share social media accounts. Vocabularri: Or the couples who are CONSTANTLY writing on their SO's wall that say, "I love you," or, "My BF/GF is the greatest person on the planet; the sun shines out of his/her ass!!! You know what I think when I see couples writing about how AMAZING their SO is and how IN LOVE they are every single day? I think that their relationship must be lacking something, and that one or both of them are insecure about things. Because it's usually true.
Monopolizing Every ConversationMahSelectah: Having to constantly control the conversation, no matter what. If they havent spoken in a minute or two, they completely derail the current topic by loudly interjecting with a new topic and just steam rolling their way in. There's a difference between being outgoing and enthusiastic, and being the person who always has to talk over everyone else. Taking control of every convo makes it seem like you have to keep reminding people to think about YOU. Source: iStock
Constantly One Upping Peopleletshidd: Always having to "one up" people. Like always having to be better or always having to have a bigger problem. Ugh, this is the WORST. You know who I'm talking about: you can't tell this girl a story without her saying something along the lines of, "Yeah, well, that happened to me except it was crazier" or tell her you're upset without her being like, "I went through the same thing but worse." It's fine to share stories and similar experiences! But when you always say it in a way that makes your experiences sound more important, you come off as insecure to everyone around you.
Refusing To Say You're WrongAnAppariti0n: Arguing something when you know you're wrong. Hating to be corrected is the most insecure thing ever. No one knows everything. Confident people realize they don't know anything, and stay open to other opinions or explanations. They know how to admit when they're wrong because they know that being wrong sometimes doesn't make them less of a person. Insecure people refuse to admit they're wrong because they refused to let others see a negative thing about them because they're so insecure about themselves. Learn how to admit when you're wrong. Source: iStock
Freaking Out Over Slow Texterssailormoon222: people getting angry when you don't text them back in under 10 minutes. Few things scream "insecurity" more than having a panic attack when someone doesn't text you back right away and sending 8 follow up text messages.
Playing The VictimNBPTS: Playing the victim. Same thing - it stems from an unmet need for validation. When you act like you're always the victim, never the one doing something wrong, you're basically begging for sympathy and attention. Just like they can admit they were wrong, confident people can admit when they were the ones who screwed something up. Source: iStock
Always Searching For ValidationPainMatrix: The perpetual check-in: Eg "What do you think? Does this look okay? Am I crazy or...?" If you can't do anything or make any decisions without getting someone else's input, that's a huge sign that you're too insecure. It's fine to ask what other people think, but in the end, you have to make your own decisions without the validation of others. Source: iStock
Asking Your SO If They Think Other People Are CuteBetter_than_Trajan: Constantly asking the SO if they find other people attractive If you're the girlfriend who is always asking your SO if they think "so and so" is cute or if "so-and-so is cuter" than you, stop. This is a major sign of insecurity and it's not fun for everyone. Look, attraction is a normal part of human nature. Your SO might think someone else is cute... but that doesn't mean they don't think you're just as cute, if not cuter! Stop focusing on who else they're attracted to, and focus on the fact that they're with you. Source: iStock
Criticizing Other PeopleDocdoesit: People who always criticize other people for how they look or how they act. Once you criticize them they feel attacked. Basically people who can talk crap but not take it. When you make fun of everyone around you for little things or spend all of your time judging people you don't even know, you come across as extremely insecure. Why? Because you're making it obvious that you're jealous. When someone is truly confident, they don't need to put others down all the time to feel better about themselves. Sure, we all have our moments of gossip. But a sign of insecurity is having those moments every single day. Source: iStock
Bragging About EverythingTheHardTruthFairy: People bragging about their IQ. Don't tell us you're smart, show us. If you really have a 160 IQ, you should be able to do something more impressive with it than brag. We're all guilty of the occasional humblebrag on Instagram or Facebook. And sometimes you accomplish something and you totally deserve to brag about it! It's when you spend all of your time bragging about how great you are that it starts to come off as insecurity.
Fishing For Complimentscold_in_the_south: People who love to fish for compliments and/or put themselves down. You know you look cute in that shirt...don't try to put yourself down while wearing it. Girls or guys who post selfies and put themselves down in the captions ("i'm so ugly!" "Ugh, I look so fat!") just come off as desperate. It's a mean word, but it's true. Basically asking other people to compliment you isn't a good look.
Refusing To Be Singlemethinksitlikea: People who jump from one relationship to another like they are afraid to be single. A huge sign that someone is too insecure is if they can't be single for more than a week at a time. When you're happy being single, you seem happier with yourself. It shows that you know how to be independent and do things on your own. When you jump from relationship to relationship, it ends up looking like you put all of your worth on those relationships. Please learn to be single! It's so important. Source: iStock
Being Too Full Of YourselfMyBobaFetish: Cockiness. Usually the ones who have to talk about what a "real man" or a "bad bitch" they are, are very insecure. There's a big difference between being confident and being way too arrogant. While it seems weird, cockiness screams insecurity. When others can see that you think you're better than everyone, they can also see that you don't really think that. Cockiness is a defense mechanism against insecurity, and it's not a good one.
Blaming Everyone Else For EverythingItchyButtCheeks: Blaming others, nothing ever being your fault. This again goes back to not being able to admit that you're wrong. When you're always like, "Oh, I didn't do that," you don't seem confident at all! Source: iStock
Which of these signs of insecurity do you think you do? What did we forget to include? Tell me in the comments!