Being single isn’t that bad until, like, it is that bad. You know? Like, you’re just going about your day, reveling in that single life–you know, the one that Beyoncé sang about in “Single Ladies”– until suddenly, someone (usually Grandma. It’s always Grandma) has the NERVE to ask why you don’t have a boyfriend.
Suddenly, the single life feels more “Wish You Were Here” than “Single Ladies,” and it’s all downhill from there. Why am I single? You wonder. I have so much to offer. But, please, wallow in the despair of the single life no more–instead, learn to love it again with these Xtrong>19 hilarious tweets that totally get what it’s like to be single:
1. Because SETTLING is for NOOBS:
reasons I'm single pic.twitter.com/FbgIcDUHaN
— Bombshell Boyfriend™ (@BombshellBf) September 6, 2015
2. The most valuable advice comes from those who have no idea what they are talking about. In my opinion:
*gives relationship advice when i'm actually single*
— Estudyante (@AngStupidyante) September 4, 2015
3. Who wouldn’t want this?
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) September 3, 2015
4. When you care more about, like, everything else, than being in a relationship:
Interviewer today trying to ask me about boys and I'm just like I barely have time to shower let alone maintain even a single conversation
— クリッシー コスタンザ (@ChrissyCostanza) September 11, 2015
5. Oh, is THAT what my eternal spinsterhood is about?
I'm single because I didn't forward that text message in 7th grade
— Country Music (@simplecountryy) September 10, 2015
Being single is the worst pic.twitter.com/zgu0WHiBHY
— T (@EatPorkPlease) January 30, 2015
7. No one wants to fluctuate in anything, after all:
2014: single 2015: single Consistency is key guys
— Real Feelings. (@teenagertexts) January 28, 2015
8. The only bae that anyone needs, tbh:
single and ready for pringles
— 50 Shades of Awkward (@OhWowThatsAwk) October 7, 2013
9. Because the only thing that makes disappointment better is MORE disappointment:
I'm single but sometimes I look in the mirror and practice telling my mom that I'm getting a divorce.
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) July 30, 2013
10. Haha! Vindication!!
My tombstone is going to read: "Told you I'd never find love."
— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) October 10, 2013
why are girls like “oh it’s december i need a boyfriend to keep me warm” no you can buy a coat like the rest of the single people
— Typical White Girl (@TypicalGirI) September 3, 2013
12. Can’t be dating scrubs who don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your” tho:
him: your single? why? me: you're*
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
13. A VALID POINT:
so if i spend my time eating cheese, watching Netflix, n having orgasms alone, i'm 'depressed', but if someone else is there i'm 'in love' ?
— Barbara Gray (@BabsGray) March 28, 2014
14. HAHA *laughs* *cries*:
Probs the worst is when someone dates you & then gets back with their ex cause they tried something new but the old shitty option was better
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 2, 2015
15. Because maybe you’re just waiting for THAT person:
I CAN'T WAIT pic.twitter.com/qssqWcy8Xt
— Typical White Girl (@TypicalGirI) September 10, 2015
16. When you don’t want to be single anymore, but only because you have very understandable priorities:
i just want a bf so I can dress like this for Halloween pic.twitter.com/ofrIHEYKM0
— Common White Girl (@CommonWhiteGrls) September 11, 2015
17. It’s true–you can stop being single whenever you want:
I can't believe therapists charge so much money when changing Joaquin Phoenix's Wikipedia to say we are married is totally free.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) August 11, 2015
18. When you’re really just feeling the whole “single and ready to mingle” thang:
just dropped my new single it's me i'm single
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) August 30, 2014
19. This question, though. It’ll never STOP being the worst, ya know?
People: do you have a boyfriend? Me: https://t.co/9HH7X9MfUA
— Common White Girl (@CommonWhiteGirI) August 22, 2015
Are you single? Did these tweets make you laugh? Let us know in the comments below!