13 Reactions That Zayn Malik Has To Being Zayn Malik

Being Zayn Malik is no easy feat.

He’d never tell you this unless you asked him, obviously, but it’s true. When one has been blesséd by the genetic gods of beauty not once, not twice, but thrice–in the categories of eyelashes, cheekbones, and falsetto–it’s impossible not to get a little overwhelmed.

This is why–I am assuming–Mr. Malik’s behavior as of late has been somewhat, um, erratic. Zayn, you’ll recall, has no chill. From dumping Perrie to dying his hair gray to sending bizarre and cryptic messages on Twitter, the former member of One Direction is just trying to tell us that no one can really understand what his life is like. No one can understand what it’s like being Zayn Malik, other than Zayn Malik himself.

But we can try. Let’s piece together his messages, though, as best we can. What, exactly, is it like being Zayn Malik when you are Zayn Malik? Let’s let Zayn Malik tell us:

1. First, we must understand how overwhelming his physical form is for even himself:

♫The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed♫

2. When his own voice is too much for even himself:

“Wet Zayn”

3. When he realizes that he is, in fact, the living embodiment of mystery:

4. When a puppy was the only thing that could really understand what it’s like to be as desirable as Zayn:

5. When he really doesn’t want to spank anyone but people keep asking him to:


6. When his own sheer perfection caused him to turn into a vampire:

7. Lately, though, Zayn’s been a little problematic. Like when he wore a sweatshirt with minions on it:

The meaning, I think, is that he identifies with creatures that are simultaneously loved and eviscerated.

8. And when he RETWEETED THIS which is clearly shading Perrie:

I think he is just reaching out for her and knows no other way.

9. When he tweeted this after allegedly leaving One Direction to “be a normal 22-year-old”:

Zayn is too special to be normal. Obviously.

10. When he dyed his hair gray, knowing that it would send us all into an existential spin:

A clear statement against the ageism that will plague us all one day. I am assuming.

11. When he had some, um, choice words to say to Naughty Boy:

Well, this one reads pretty clear to me. (But, hey–no need to fat shame. Anyone. Ever. Even if you’re Zayn Malik.)

12. As well as Calvin Harris:

A symptom of being Zayn Malik is an addiction to beef.

13. And, finally, when he tweeted an announcement of his Interview magazine cover with an…interesting choice of hashtag:

What is Zayn trying to say? That this is the “real him,” I think. He’s coming. Get ready.

What do you think of Zayn Malik? What do you think he’s trying to tell us? Let us know in the comments below!

You can follow the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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  • fanfan

    He’s dreamy! <3

    Oh, and apparently "fat joke" is just an expression and has nothing to do with the fact Naughty is…fat…

  • yoli af

    Ive always liked zayn a loooot but some things he did lately well i didnt like them that much. i supported him a lot when he left and i will always, but honestly, if he stops acting like he already won 8 grammys when in reality he hasnt released a single yet. i loved zerrie and zouis and now 🙁 i want to be supportive but he is making it difficult when he shades little mix and laughs at 1d. grow up, zayn.