Our bodies do really weird things sometimes… so weird, that it’s easy for things to get really gross really fast. You could deal with those things by scrunching up your face and trying to forget about them… or you could make them into a funny story that you can laugh about with your friends and on the Internet. Which one sounds better?
In this Ask Women Reddit thread, a bunch of ladies disclosed their grossest moments ever. Were these pleasant to read? I can’t say that they were. But there’s something weirdly enticing about reading a gross story, even if it makes us want to gag a little. We went through the thread to find the most out there period and sex stories ever. Need a laugh? 10 real girls share their grossest period and sex confessions. Share your own in the comments below!
She Ate Her BloodHuman4473: a few hours after I sex for the first time I found a small blood clot on my thigh. I wasn't sure what it was and was examining it. My boyfriend noticed and asked what I was looking at. I was too embarrassed to tell him so I said it was a blackcurrant jelly tot. He thought that was odd and reached to take it from me so to prevent him from taking it I ate it. Source: iStock
She Ruined Her UnderwearIllinois_smith: Did anal night before work. Next day I put on my uniform and head out. Trusted a fart. Was not a fart. I shat my pants a little. Source: iStock
She Got Period Blood On Her Legsmissklein: I was at my french class. My hormones are really crazy and I have usually unexpected strong periods... so I thought I was safe with my tampon, but class is over, I stand up to leave and I immediately panic. I feel the blood running down my thighs under my skirt. My teacher, who was close to me, starts asking me something about the class and the only thing I can think of is a desperate way to get the f*** out of there and find a bathroom. Discreetly I look down and for my horror the blood string was getting to my shoes. I honestly don't know if any of my classmates noticed or if they just decided not to say anything to prevent me from the embarrassment. I don't remember what excuse I gave to run to the bathroom but I remember that I spent over 30 minutes trying to clean all the blood with wet toilet paper (the dry blood) and putting together an amount of paper enough in my panties to keep me safe enough until get home. I hate my period. 🙁 Source: iStock
Her Mom Had To Take Her Tampon OutAlwaysDisposable: We used to have this girl who worked in the office and one week she was feeling really, really bad, then she just didn't come in one day. The next week she comes in and tells the boss about how she had forgotten to take her tampon out for over a week, and when she finally realized she was so sick and weak that she had to call her mom to come 'fish it out of her'. Source: iStock
She Couldn't Fix Her Tampontemporarilyvacant: This happened when I was first using tampons (like i had just started using them and was now at the point where I was confident enough to go about daily life as usual while wearing one.) I don't consider it really gross but its a bit awkward to share. So I was at work, and right after I was supposed to meet friends at the beach and go for drinks to celebrate a friends birthday. I already missed half their plans because I was working, so I was in a rush to go meet up with them. I went to the bathroom at work just before I left to change my tampon. I didn't hear the plastic applicator click but everything felt OK so I assumed everything was OK. I stood up and immediately regretted it. The tampon was not in place. I could feel that dry cotton stuck where I absolutely did not want it. I tried to use a finger to adjust it but had no luck. I didn't want to take it out right away because a) that sh*t hurts and b) I didn't have another tampon or pad with me. So I was in the bathroom like, practically fisting myself to fix things but it wasn't WORKING and I didn't have TIME so I just booked it to the bus stop so I figured I would just have to deal with it. This was also around the time I started doing kegels. So while I was on the bus, I was thinking about kegels and how no one can tell when you're doing them. I tried doing some...... and moved my fucking tampon into place. On the bus. Surrounded by people. And no one knew. That was one of the proudest, weirdest moments of my life. Source: iStock
She Had A Big Clotturkeysrule: One time I swear my body expelled the most gigantic period blood clot ever. I was like 15 at the time, and used pads. I woke up in the middle of the night, went to the bathroom, and when I got back to my room I saw that huge, dark red glob on my white mattress cover. I don't even know what to compare the clot (possibly loads of clots?) to. It was HUGE. That's when I started looking into tampons. Source: iStock
Her Boyfriend and Her Got Stuck To Each Othercrunchychords: One time my boyfriend and I got some chocolate sauce to spice up our sexytimes. Rather than drizzle it on me and lick it off, he pours a bunch of it all over me and rubs it around until I'm absolutely covered. I sigh a little, but we go with it until the time comes to... separate and we realize we're stuck to each other. Or, rather, his copious chest hair is attached to my skin by chocolate. We realize we have no choice, and he pulls away super quickly, leaving me with a carpet of his hair attached to my chest. The worst part was that we then had to walk into the hallway to the communal bathroom (we were in college) covered in chocolate and hair. Source: iStock
They Got Blood Everywherejust-an-inch: Picture this, it's our wedding night, we've had a great time and we're tired, but we feel obligated to "consummate" the marriage. Not like we hadn't done it a hundred times before. Well, when we get done we flip on the lights and discover blood everywhere! All over my face (I'd gone down), all over the bed and sheets... yuck! My wife is confused AF because she's no where near that time of the month... meanwhile I'm washing my face and nose and mouth like a mofo when I realize that my nose is bleeding. haha, yep I went to town downtown hard enough that I gave myself a bloody nose. I always wonder what the people running the hotel thought when they found those sheets the next day...! Source: iStock
She Had To Put Her Tampon In A Weird Placewildebeesties: When I was a young teenager I detasseled every summer. Think very long, hot hours all day in a corn field. Well, one day I was on my period. It was my heavy day, so of course I had a tampon in and also using a pad. I'm halfway in this corn row, which was easily 3/4 of a mile long. As I'm walking I can tell that the tampon is trying to slide out because it's so soaked. There's no way I can make it back to the porta-potty (nor do I want to go into that thing which is over 100 degrees inside and has not been cleaned out for the entire summer). So, I look around and make sure no one is around. I pull down my pants, take out my tampon, and buried it in the corn field. Source: iStock
She Shaved Too Muchsuzy9mm: This one may be less gross and more "oh Jesus Christ ah" but I usually wax so I'm not used to having to shave down there. I was irritated by an uneven wax job and decided to shave off what was left. I accidentally shaved off a good portion on my labia. Like pinky nail size. After much swearing I washed off and dried myself. I quickly got dressed and left for work. It hurt like f*** but slowly I forgot about my blunder...until end of shift when I went to pee. I pulled down my panties and was shot with immediate pain. My wound had healed to my panties using the fabric as a scab. Worst part. It did it twice more before it healed over right. Source: iStock
Which of these stories did you think was the most gross? What is your grossest story? Tell me in the comments!