Growing up with strict parents is a struggle you only understand if you’ve been there. My parents were super strict in high school. I wasn’t allowed to do anything, and we were constantly fighting. The first few years of my teenage life were spent screaming at my parents and then crying in my room by myself. For lack of a better phrasing that adequately describes the situation, it really sucked.
It was easy to blame everything on my parents being strict and not understanding me, so I did that. But looking back, I was doing things that were wrong too. Some of my actions were likely making my parents act even more strict. Some of the things I did were just making my life harder! I learned from my mistakes, and now I have a great relationship with my parents, but I wish I knew this stuff before. So, if you’re dealing with strict parents and you don’t know what to do, please read this. Consider changing your behavior. Try it! Then tell me about it. Here are 8 things you’re doing wrong that are making your parents more strict:
You Hide Everything From ThemHaving strict parents is a vicious cycle. You do something, they find out, they get mad, you don't tell them about things, then they get mad you don't tell them about things. It's so tough! It's really hard to find a balance, so eventually you just start hiding everything. The problem is that they will eventually catch you - and then they'll be even more furious that you lied or hid something. The worst part is that you're allowing their anger to be more legitimate by lying. I'm not saying you should tell your parents every little thing - I don't think that's reasonable or realistic. But don't hide EVERYTHING. Tell them what you can and be honest when you can. It will usually score you some points. Source: iStock
You Get Too EmotionalI know how it is: you're fighting with your parents, and you think that maybe crying will make them feel sorry for you. Maybe yelling will make them stop and listen. Maybe putting on a big emotional show will make them realize what they're doing. Or, maybe your emotions really run away from you and you can't help it. Either way, I can tell you for certain that the crying and screaming isn't helping you. Instead, it's only reinforcing their thought that you're too immature to do whatever it is you want to do. I KNOW how hard it is to stay calm and collected when you're not getting your way. But please, please try it. It won't have miracle results, but over time, it will help. Source: iStock
You Never Do Things Without Being AskedMaybe your parents are strict because they say you never help them. In that case, you might be like, "Well, they told me to clean my room so I did!" or "I put away the dish after they asked! Here's the thing: a lot of parents are only impressed if you do something helpful on your own without their request. They think that just by asking you to do it, you've already failed because they had to ask before it got done. See what I'm saying? Start doing things without being asked. Clean your room on your own. Do the dishes before your mom can. After a while, you can start to use those things to get what you want - and they will be happier with you in general. Source: iStock
You Argue Over EverythingMy younger sister fights with my parents a lot. No, I'm sorry. Every day. Why? Because she doesn't pick her battles. She makes every little issue into a HUGE deal. I used to do this too. Even when I didn't feel that passionate about something, I would fight over it just because I wanted my way. Don't do this. Fight over what is most important to you. Save the big battles for the things that are worth it. Source: iStock
You Don't Try To Get To Know ThemEven if your parents are super, super strict, they're doing it because they love you. They really do! Sometimes parents act super strict because they feel like you're slipping away from them, and they don't want to lose you. You can make them feel more important and more like a part of your life by getting to know them. Grab lunch with them sometimes. Go do errands with your mom. Talk at dinner instead of watching TV. They'll appreciate it, and it's honestly good for you too. Source: iStock
You Never Tell Them About Your DayYour parents also want to know more about you, their kid. They care about you and love you. They're curious about your life! When you hide everything and you refuse to spill details on your day, it makes them feel pushed away and angry and sad. That can make them feel more strict. Start telling them about your day, even mundane details you think don't matter. Ask for their opinion on some things. Tell them about a movie you loved! Anything. Source: iStock
You Refuse To CompromiseCompromising is so important with strict parents. You want them to do what you want, they want you to do what they want. Neither of you are winning if you don't try to compromise. Be mature. Agree to do little things you don't want to do that don't really matter that much to you in the long run. Use those as a way to get what you want. Just try. I know this isn't a miracle solution and that some parents aren't interested in compromising. But if they're asking YOU to compromise, then you should try. Source: iStock
You Don't Make Your Own DecisionsDo you ask your parents for permission for everything? Or do you fill them in on things they don't need to know about and then get mad with their response? My younger sister takes all of my parents' opinions to heart. Don't do this. Sometimes you have to think for yourself and show them it's positive. Source: iStock
Which of these mistakes have you made? What do you disagree with? What did I forget? Tell me in the comments.