13 Things Everyone Loves About Fall That Actually Suck

I’m not sure how this happened, but somehow it’s officially September already, which means fall is almost here. Gone will be the days of flip flops, trips to the beach, and eating ice cream for dinner. Autumn’s arrival is nigh! Start preparing now for sweater weather, crisp apples, pumpkin picking, Halloween costume planning, and of course, an array of photos of Starbucks PSL drinks. How does time move this quickly?

Many people are rejoicing. “Fall is my favorite season!” they caption their Instagram photos. But they are misguided in their love of leaves, pumpkin spice lattes, and letterman jackets. Everything everyone loves about fall actually sucks. Don’t believe me? Read on to find out why these 13 popular things about fall are actually the worst.

1. Leaves changing colors

wet fall leaves
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Sure, the orange and red is pretty…for like a week. Then the leaves turn brown and fall on the ground. That crunching sound is fun for about five seconds before it rains and all the dead leaves turn into messy piles of sludge determined to ruin your new suede boots.

 

2. Pumpkin Spice everything

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There is nothing more *basic* than pumpkin spice flavored foods. Not to mention the ridiculous overpricing companies can get away with because of the popularity of this seasonal fad. Go ahead and drop six hard-earned dollars on that venti PSL with whipped cream on top. Who needs to save money?

 

3. Fall fashion

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Face it: sweaters are itchy. Scarves are hot. Everyone else is wearing the exact same jeans. Plus, autumn colors are so dull, they’ll wash out what’s left of your summer tan!

 

4. Uggs

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Technically part of fall fashion, Uggs are in a category all their own. You may say they’re comfortable, and Tom Brady may agree, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that they’re hideous. Sorry, Australia, but you can keep Uggs and Vegemite far away from here.

 

5. Halloween

mean girls halloween
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Sure, this was a great holiday growing up, but now there’s so much pressure to have a clever costume. What is Halloween without trick-or-treating anyway?

 

6. Thanksgiving

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I’m not bashing the holiday of giving thanks—I am very supportive of being thankful! But Thanksgiving means being forced to spend time with family members you don’t even like, while eating food that, let’s face it, can be a little overrated.

 

7. Apple picking

dorothy apples
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Awww, what a cute activity! Not. Most of the apples are rotten or sour, the orchard isn’t nearly as picture perfect for Instagram as you expected, and did we mention the bugs?

 

8. Cuddling season

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As the weather cools down, happily single students find themselves wanting someone to cuddle up to. But why? Why give up your freedom, when you can be just as content watching Netflix by yourself? You don’t need someone to share that hot cocoa, you deserve to drink it all!

 

9. Daylight savings time

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Don’t try to say how great it is to wake up to sunlight. My parents totally used DST as an excuse to bring me home from my friends’ houses earlier. “You have to be home before dark!” moves curfew up a whole hour in the fall.

 

10. The weather

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Some people romanticize the “crisp fall air” but really, who likes to be cold?

 

11. Football season

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Your butt gets frozen sitting on a metal bleacher, the cheese on the nachos gets cold before you make it from the concession stand back to your seat, and if the team loses, the whole school is sad. Plus, that paint is really hard to wash off. Go team?

 

12. Pep rallies

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While any excuse to miss class might seem like a good ones, pep rallies just means hundreds of smelly, sweaty, hormonal bodies stuffed into an enclosed area.

 

13. Bonfires

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You’ll probably burn the marshmallow for your s’mores, someone will think it’s a good idea to try to hop the fire—this is never a good idea—and you’ll go home smelling like smoke.

Which of these do you disagree with? What’s your least favorite thing about fall? Tell us in the comments!

 

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  • Laia

    Wow. If you don’t like Fall , you don’t have to say it’s terrible. Like seriously, go chill out, Fall is nice for some people if you don’t like it, idgaf, actually NO ONE gives a f*ck. You made me stop reading Gurl, so thanks alot, idiot. Also, go say those things to people who LOVE fall. Go see how it is on them, bitch, I’m one of the NICE ones. You’re stupid as f*ck and I hope you get fired off Gurl. Someone call me and tell me when the good news happens

  • Alana Ellyn

    1. Leaves changing colors
    I like it when the leaves turn brown and crunchy. Nature is beautiful even in “death”. Plus, no one can sneak up behind you outside.

    2. Pumpkin Spice everything
    First of all, I hate the term “basic”. Second of all, don’t rag on something and say it sucks just because other people like it. Also, you state your opinions as a fact. Pumpkin cookies with buttercream frosting are the best, by the way.

    3. Fall fashion
    Not all sweaters itch, scarves are cuddly, and jeans are a staple so who casres if they all look the same?

    4. Uggs
    Don’t wear Uggs. Simple.

    5. Halloween
    Is wonderful. Just wear a costume you like. I’ve worn historical inspired costumes for the last several years, not something “clever”. Personally, I find Halloween parties are more fun with people older than me than with a bunch of drunk frat boys.

    6. Thanksgiving
    Give thanks for the time you spend with your family – they may not all be there next year

    7. Apple picking
    You don’t have to. No ones forcing you.

    8. Cuddling season
    Then get a puppy/kitten/rabbit/ even a lemur.

    9. Daylight savings time
    I actually agree. It screws up Halloween.

    10. The weather
    “Some people romanticize the “crisp fall air” but really, who likes to be cold?”
    ^That’s what coats are for^ I love coats.

    11. Football season
    Again, no one’s forcing you

    12. Pep rallies
    Do you have to go? I don’t attend college and I was home schooled, so I really don’t understand these things

    13. Bonfires
    But you can pretend to be the Fire Gang from Labyrinth! Chilly down, lady. Hey! Let’s take your head off! . . . . Sorry about that. But, fires are nice if they are contained.

    • Laia

      Thank you! This is the same thing I said to my friends as we read this.