20 Flawless Ways To Shut A Scrub Down Via Text

Have you ever had the misfortune of texting a scrub?

Or, perhaps I should say, the misfortune of having a scrub text you. (There’s a difference.) Usually, the way this happens is that they get your number, somehow, and then they text you and literally. never. stop. I know this because it’s happened to me, and I have to say that there’s really only one way to make them stop texting you. Sometimes, you just have to troll. These girls all did, and it turned out well for them. Check out these 20 flawless responses to some total scrubs:

1. Get super literal:

Via Buzzfeed

Via Buzzfeed

2. Very, very literal:

http://thinkwickeddreaming.tumblr.com/post/81938434221/sexting-done-right-ladies-take-notes


 

3. Seriously, it never fails:

http://boy-between-the-ears.tumblr.com/post/49515586956


 

4. Make sure you’re both on the same page at all times:

http://hylianvillager.tumblr.com/post/101454095571/am-i-doing-this-right


 

5. Show them what they really want to see, but make sure they do the same:

http://jasonhorton.tumblr.com/post/120417270655


 

6. Be explicit with your responses:
crackers-buzzfeed
 

7. Get a little freaky:

Via Buzzfeed

Via Buzzfeed

8. Be vulnerable:

http://textsandtrolls.tumblr.com/post/105321576920/story-of-my-life

 

9. Open up in ways you never have before:

http://howtoloseaguyinonetinder.tumblr.com/post/67870218251/the-part-at-the-top-thats-cut-off-said-can-i-ask

 

10. Ask the questions that really matter:

http://pennysogangstuhhh.tumblr.com/post/126931471582/i-tried-to-troll-him-it-didnt-work-lol

 

11. Invoke charming pastoral imagery whenever possible:

http://howtoloseaguyinonetinder.tumblr.com/post/77209740607/i-get-how-this-could-have-been-perceived-as-a

 

12. Heat things up in the shower:

http://ithinkhessupermanrg3.tumblr.com/post/72278032648

 

13. Let them know you’re down to clown, but you also have priorities:

http://elskertrier.tumblr.com/post/65144906182

 

14. Be honest about your desires:

http://bananer-pancakes.tumblr.com/post/89712730087

 

15. Very honest:

Via relationshipgoals.tumblr.com

Via relationshipgoals.tumblr.com

16. Be as helpful as possible at all times:

Via techeblog.com

Via techeblog.com

17. Lay down the law when it comes to equality:

http://begformurrcy.tumblr.com/post/107143668326

 

18. Enlist some help from Michael Cera:
michaelcera1

michaelcera2

19. And some witches, if need be:
photo
 

20. Finally, tell them what it is that you REALLY want at the end of the day:

Via Buzzfeed

Via Buzzfeed

What was your favorite response? Have you ever been texted by a total scrub? Let us know in the comments below!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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