10 Tips On How To Get What You Want When You’re Shy

As a shy girl, I know firsthand how hard it can be to get what you want out of life. Whether that means a date with your crush, a hangout session with a girl you know who you think is cool, or the chance to tell off someone who was rude to you, it’s tough to get there when you’re shy. Being shy means that it can be really hard to speak your mind, especially to people you don’t know well. And if you don’t know how to say what you want to say or go after what you want, you’re usually stuck with settling for something else.

For many years of my life, I kept my mouth shut and waited for things to come to me. If I wanted to talk to a cute guy, I made myself available around him and patiently waited until he made the first move. If I was mad at a friend for something legitimate, I would complain to everyone else while refusing to confront the situation. If I felt I deserved an A, but only got a B, I tried harder the next time instead of speaking up for myself. If I met a girl I thought would make a good friend, I waited for her to ask to hang out rather than asking if she wanted to get coffee. To make a lot of long stories short, I did too much waiting.

That’s because I’m shy, and the thought of talking in an aggressive way makes me break out in hives. But in the last few years of my life, I’ve been working really hard to move past that. I’ve been trying to become the kind of person who defends herself, confronts someone when they’re angry, and asks for what she feels she deserves. It hasn’t been easy and sometimes I fail, but when I succeed, it feels pretty great. Want to get there too? Here are 10 tips on how to get what you want when you’re shy. 

Which of these tips are you going to try? What do you disagree with? What did I forget? Tell me in the comments.

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.


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  • Dunn Brooklyn

    This is soo helpful!! Thank you!! Someone gets it :’)